Carly Zucker, John Travolta

While the rest of us were distracted by a fantastic weekend of football, Carly Zucker was busily zipping around London in a preposterous disco outfit. Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve been treated to white top and flares combo, pre-Scientology maniac John Travolta was rocking exactly the same vibe back in the 1970s.

Everyone’s seen Saturday Night Fever, but have you seen him in Staying Alive? It’s by far the best film ever made - enjoy a clip after the jump…

Yesterday, Today

Jamelia Superstar Picture

Make no mistake, The Spoiler has had the odd run in with the hygiene police. There was once a whole year with the same vest top, but that’s a long, disturbing, unprintable story. Jamelia, pop singer and WAG to Darren Byfield (now of Doncaster), however, has little excuse for wearing the same glistening blouse for two days in a row. The lady is minted. That’s right, woman, we’re talking to you, and yes, The Spoiler is maintaining a very beady eye on all the goings-on at London Fancy Dress Week. Be on your guard, WAGs. This will never do.

Elsewhere, Joe Cole’s sprightly young lover, smiling Carly Zucker, has been showing the people of Stepford how to correctly exercise both inside and outside a gymnasium. Witness the proof after the leap…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

21-year-old Italian Grand Prix winner Sebastian Vettel could earn €100m over the next ten years
[Grid Crasher]

Sepp Blatter arrived in Africa recently, and proceeded to bust a few moves
[Fanhouse]

Thierry Henry’s ex-wife Claire Merry gets post-divorce cosmetic surgery
[Daily Mail]

Monty Panesar looks to The Fonz for inspiration
[Polite Applause]

Joe Cole’s wife-to-be Carly Zucker wants to make you fit
[Kickette]

The FA will investigate Alex Ferguson’s remarks concerning John Terry’s red card
[BBC]

Luca Toni’s Wife Marta Cecchetto is the number one Bundesliga WAG
[Bild]

What have those WAGs been up to? You ask…

What with Theo Walcott suddenly morphing into the best player of all time, and England now totally guaranteed to win the World Cup, you’d almost forgotten about the WAGs, hadn’t you? Poor girls, out there in the real world, getting ignored. So thank Christ for The Spoiler, because our eyes of steel didn’t once shift focus to the footie.

The big news is that Danielle Bux (pictured above) did some photo shoot thing about a bus - she was joined by some girls in pink underpants. Carly Zucker was out getting some fresh veg and fizzy water in Waitrose as blood squirted from her boyfriend’s soft head on a field in Croatia. And former WAG Danielle Lloyd has seemingly given up on footballers altogether, and now only goes out with small men - or tall dwarfs.  Which one is it?

Catch up with Zucker and Lloyd after the jump…

Eddie Cochrane/Carly Zucker

Carly Zucker doesn’t just want to be seen as Joe Cole’s slimline resting place, you know - this girl takes her fashion very seriously. So much so that she can now be found sporting a retrospective Eddie Cochrane cut which weighs roughly the same as a bag of flour, and takes four hours to assemble in the morning. It’s a strong look.

Did she take her cue from Joey Barton’s “Orbison“?

For another take on things, head over to Kickette.

Joe Cole glad he ignored Al Gore when choosing motor

Big Phil Scolari officially started work at Chelsea’s Cobham training ground yesterday, and he almost did so a man down. On the way to training, Joe Cole’s Range Rover became rather too well acquainted with a 40-ton lorry:

“[Cole] dashed to the aid of another driver trapped in his Vauxhall Signum.

“The Chelsea winger’s £50,000 4×4 took the full impact of the Scania lorry - and careered into the Vauxhall.

“Driver John Jury was knocked unconscious - and came to with Cole banging on his window.”

The dent in the plush Chelsea tractor doesn’t look particularly life threatening, but the other driver claims Cole would not have survived if he had been driving a sports car, or one of those hybrid efforts that obnoxious people drive to let people know they are better than everyone else. Absolutely no one who lives in or around London needs a 4×4, yet it seems the winger and his bride-to-be Carly Zucker have done the right thing in completely disregarding their carbon footprint.

Spoiler bonus: it looks like someone has been playing tricks with Joe Cole’s Wikipedia entry…

[click image to enlarge]

Part one of The Spoiler’s in-depth WAG holiday analysis

Without the need to attend a European Championships, it’s only natural that the nation’s premier supporting ladies have escaped the thoroughly unpredictable English weather for sunnier climes.

Pictured above is Steven Gerrard using a common Liverpudlian communication technique to attract the attention of his lovely wife Alex Curran while relaxing in Miami. See more pictures of Mrs Gerrard here.

Over in Italy, former Miss Ireland Claudine Palmer is enjoying her honeymoon with brand new hubby Robbie Keane. He’s in the photo waving at the camera, but the wee lad only comes up to her shin. See more of Claudine here.

More WAG holiday madness after the jump…

Her name means ’sugar’ in German. Sweet.

Unless he falls foul of Avram Grant’s tactical battle of wits, Joe Cole should have a prominent role in this Sunday’s Carling Cup final. Regardless, WAG fans should be able to count on the attendance of his lady Carly Zucker, the twenty-five-year-old personal trainer who rose to tabloid fame following her prominent role in the World Cup 2006 WAG gang.