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NFL star Terrell Owens finds swimsuit model Joanna Krupa a pleasure to work with
[WithLeather]

Danijel Pranjic pays €700,000 of his own money to join Bayern Munich
[Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea may swap Didier Drogba for webcam fan Pat
[The Telegraph]

Joe Cole’s wife Carly Zucker defends her right to not contribute to society
[Kickette]

Florent Malouda signs a new contract
[Goal.com]

An Aussie rules player has been suspended for whipping his junk out live on TV
[SportsByBrooks]

Despite coming into contact with Paris Hilton, Cristiano Ronaldo has passed his Real Madrid medical
[The Guardian]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

This goalkeeper shows us why it’s a bad idea to leave a shot that is heading for the crossbar
[The Offside]

Proof that Phil Neville still loves him some Manchester Utd
[Republik of Mancunia]

Violent moron Joey Barton has been suspended without pay until further notice
[Sky Sports]

Video: Denise Richards treats Baseball fans to her dulcet tones
[WithLeather]

A fan bites Cheryl Cole
[The Sun]

Classy pornstars attend El Clasico
[Dirty Tackle]

Cesc Fabregas belongs to Arsenal
[The Telegraph]

Joe Cole and Carly Zucker watch a cocky Mancunian get knocked out in Las Vegas
[Kickette]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

England will be wearing a brand new kit at the weekend, and it’s got a new crest
[Off The Post]

David Beckham’s temporary Milan home comes with a prostitute seal of approval
[Dirty Tackle]

Carly Zucker and Alex Curran hit the gym
[Kickette]

Martin Keown believes Liverpool’s success is due to their lack of Robbie Keane
[Daily Mail]

The top ten ‘tricked out athlete’s cars
[The Angry T]

Sticks and stones may break his bones, But Gareth Southgate won’t get a haircut
[Sky Sports]

WAG Giorgia Palmas is not unattractive
[On205th]

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Raquel Welch Carly Zucker wants to sell you deodorant
[Dirty Tackle]

The Greatest Football/Rap Stars EVER!
[Heckler Spray]

Is Thierry Henry about to return to the Premier League?
[The Sun]

Robbie Keane hates being in a relegation scrap - why did he leave a club challenging for the title then?
[Sky Sports]

Cheryl Cole gets a book deal
[RTE]

Hot WAG Sylvie van der Vaart speaks of her love for hot WAG Nives Celzijus
[Bild]

Alex Ferguson admits five trophies in a season is a little ambitious
[The Guardian]

Very important football-related news from Australia just in…

Obviously bored in the Australian outback, Joe Cole’s wife-to-be Carly Zucker has had to invent some ways to pass the time. Her latest hair-brained scheme involved putting on some lingerie and mooning millions of television viewers. What on earth will she think of next?!

See plenty more Carly clothes-dodging action after the jump…

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Grid Crasher reveal an ingenious way to steal a car

Football’s worst fan missile incidents
[Bild]

Why Chelsea need to start winning at Stamford Bridge
[chickendinner]

Arsenal’s perfect captain no longer plays for them
[The Offside]

Bradford offer some bargain basement season tickets
[BBC]

Jungle dewller Carly Zucker is definitely missing Joe Cole
[Kickette]

Alex Ferguson takes a dig at Arsenal, saying Villa can finish in the top four
[Caught Offside]

Slightly NSFW Video: Footballer-turned-pornstar Eva Roob gives advice on stripping
[Dirty Tackle]

Carly Zucker to undergo demeaning trials for our entertainment

Good news for fans of WAGs and mind-numbing reality television shows - Carly Zucker is currently on her way to the Australian outback to compete in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.

Joe Cole’s fitness trainer wife-to-be, pictured above with some giant spherical Mars bars, may not technically be a ‘celebrity’, but she is certainly a good reason to tune in to the ITV1 show, which starts begins on Sunday at 9pm.

Carly Zucker, John Travolta

While the rest of us were distracted by a fantastic weekend of football, Carly Zucker was busily zipping around London in a preposterous disco outfit. Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve been treated to white top and flares combo, pre-Scientology maniac John Travolta was rocking exactly the same vibe back in the 1970s.

Everyone’s seen Saturday Night Fever, but have you seen him in Staying Alive? It’s by far the best film ever made - enjoy a clip after the jump…