Manchester City stars fight to be king of the car park

With fame, millions of pounds and unlimited access to Movida’s least scrupulous ladies, one may assume that footballers live untroubled lives. Stephen Ireland and Robinho, however, have shown us that the Premier League’s pampered stars suffer the same feelings of want and inadequacy as the folks in the stands.

When Robinho decided to stop taking the bus, he picked up a shiny white Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. When the Brazilian rolled into the club’s Carrington training ground in his £170,000 car p0rn wet dream, Stephen Ireland turned green with jealousy, and immediately went out and bought a black version of the same car.

Presumably, it’s only a matter of time before Ireland puts some pink wheels on his Italian supercar.

Brazilian midfielder adopts casual dress code

All over the country, Premiership players are trying to out do each other when they arrive at their respective training grounds: some will have flash new cars, some an incredibly tasteless and expensive watch, and many will brag that they have joined the “done it with Danielle Lloyd” club.

Manchester Utd’s Anderson, however, clearly isn’t a fan of keeping up with the proverbial Joneses, as the 20-year-old recently turned up at Carrington in a pair of fluffy blue slippers. His reasoning? Quite simply, he prefers them to shoes.

Edwin van der Sar said: “From his head to his ankles is fine, but when you look at the slippers you think ‘wow!’”, and Owen Hargreaves agrees that his footwear is “outrageous”.

Alex Ferguson also made a comment, but no one could understand him. You’re not alone, Nemanja Vidic.

Cristiano wants to go to Spain - who knew, eh?

[Best photo ever? Yes, best photo ever]

Spanish newspaper AS is usually about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, and they are now carrying some quotes that are bound to turn Fergie an even darker shade of red:

“It’s ok. Next week, I’ll fix everything. I’ll go to Manchester and tell them my only desire is to play for Real Madrid and that the decision is non-negotiable.”

Is this a empty threat or will we soon discover C-Ron chained to a sink at Manchester Utd’s Carrington training ground? We’ll have to wait until next Tuesday, when the tricky winger will finally stop swanning around the world to confront the angry Scotsman.

Spoiler bonus: Ever wondered how ankle injuries occur? It’s bad dentistry, according to Ronny

[Football365]