Because they can’t play Blackburn every week

Like a hospital patient on suicide watch, Chelsea won’t be allowed near the window any time soon. Yet despite thumping Blackburn Rovers on Saturday, Chelsea have confirmed that they will now appeal to the confusingly-ordered CAS (Court of Sport Arbitration,) over their year-long transfer ban. In so doing, the resultant delay ensures their ability to do business this January, but does risk an extension of the ban if the Court deem their appeal to lack foundation.

This risk demonstrates that Carlo Ancelotti has concluded that his team still need enforcing in January. Knowing his wallet may soon start to gather cobwebs, and needing to keep up with the Abu Dhabi crew up North, Roman Abramovic will be under big pressure to do some pretty heavy spending.

So who is Ancelotti eyeing? Goalkeepers will certainly be an area of interest, as might centre-half, due to the continuing problems of Petr Cech and Ricardo Carvalho respectively. The African Cup of Nations will certainly be in mind too, and hence backup for Drogba will be handy. Of course, the imminent transfer ban, that consequentially could even last beyond the original two windows should this appeal fail, will also be a factor. With a year of transfer famine potentially on its way, expect players to be hoarded like tamiflu in a house full of hypocondriacs, and possibly loaned back for six months, or even a year.  Arrivals could hence be staggered like the conventional transfer window system, even were Chelsea to play no part in it.

Chelsea fans - who would you like to see arrive in January? Let us know below…

Time to rip it up and start again, Chelsea

What the Christ! Last night the world was treated to probably the worst fairytale of all time, akin to Cinderella meeting Prince Charming, only to find that beneath the sparkling veneer he’s actually really anal and a bit clinically depressed. It was all there for the Chelsea team and Abramovich - the big final, in Russia, the captain (Mister Chelsea, apparently) seconds away from making dreams come true. Then they blew it.

After years of hurling money around willy-nilly desperately striving to create something wonderful, has the Chelsea team finally imploded under the weight of expectation? The summer will surely see the likes of Drogba, Carvalho (absolutely awful last night) Malouda (shocking) Anelka (non-plussed) and even Lampard head off in search of a less hated team.

Like children, footballers can be so cruel 

As absolutely everyone knows, before the biggest match of the season, the battle begins in the press. We like to call it The Battle of the Brains. Already Chelsea and Man United have been trading blows like furious tots in a street fight.

Rooney on Drogba:
Sometimes it seems as if his head is not there, but when he is playing at his best he is an unbelievable player.

Vidic on Drogba:
Sometimes he goes in very strong, and sometimes he pretends he is very weak. He plays with your mind and tries to make you think about the next tackle. He can pretend he fell down to win a penalty, but referees know that. The Champions League final is a big game and I’m sure the ref will know his job.

Chelsea stars get their leather on in da club

For those that didn’t realise, last night the theme was “Small Leather Jacket” down at Funky Buddha - by far the most sensual of London’s sexy wine bars.

Of course, Lamps was there with pals Ballack and Carvalho, all guffawing and loving their body-tight jackets. Even cricket’s Kevin Pietersen stopped off to let girls stroke his leather jacket and offer to buy him Martinis. But, as is usual with any Chelsea event, one man decided to join in and just made an almighty hash of things - can you guess who?