‘The most talked about model in the country,’ says her new book…

They say that everyone has a book within them, and 24-year-old glamour model Cassie Sumner is no exception. When she isn’t putting her thoughts to paper or bearing her breasts outside nightclubs, Kent-born Cassie has been steadily working her way through the Chelsea team - so far she has bagged Celestine Babayaro, Steve Watts and Michael Essien.

The cover of her latest tome boasts that she has dated ‘everyone from Russell Brand to [the aforementioned] Michael Essien’, depsite the fact that Essien denied they ever went out and Brand discredited her kiss-and-tell claims as part of his stand up tour. Nevertheless, we at The Spoiler took a scientific approach to discovering who the ‘everyone’ in the huge spectrum between Mr Brand and Mr Essien may be, and devised the Cassie Sumner famous steamroll-o-meter:

Looks like it was only Ziggy, then.