The good officials of the Champions League gathered around the trough in Monaco this afternoon, pausing briefly to pompously remove some plastic footballs from mixing bowls in one of their favourite little rituals.
As per, various pundits and sundry authorities were on hand to discuss the mouth-watering nature of the dance card, while those associated with the managerial side of things vowed not to underestimate anybody, as decreed by UEFA’s guidelines on how to talk to the press at times such as this.
Of the English teams, Liverpool probably feel the men in blazers could have looked harder to find them a couple of soft sides, but at least
Today’s transfer rumours, brimming with metrosexuality
If the picture above is to be believed, Princess Frank has already packed his favourite makeup travel case ahead of a big new move to Milan. They’ll really dig his all-pink beachwear in the fashion capital, but will he go running to the open arms of The Special One or stick around to let Big Phil beat him like a red haired stepchild?
Frank Lampard to Inter
Internazionale confirmed Lampard as their number one transfer target yesterday, and now Mourinho and Scolari are both dangling club badges in front of his face, forcing him to choose which one to kiss.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: We think he may love Mourinho a little more than Chelsea
Ronaldinho to Chelsea
Even though he’s still contracted to Barcelona, Deco has taken it upon himself to become Chelsea’s travel agent, by advising Ronaldinho to steer clear of smelly Manchester and move to petal-scented West London.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Can see it happening
Ivan Klasnic to Wigan
After scoring the winner for Croatia last night, Klasnic has decided it may be time to plunge for the glitz, glamour and endless excitement of Premier League football by signing for…Wigan.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Bigger clubs may come calling
David Bentley to Aston Villa
Bentley wants to leave Blackburn to get a shot at a club playing in the Champions League but he said he’d settle for UEFA Cup football. Surely he doesn’t want to play in the Intertoto with Villa though?
All of today’s transfer gossip in one neat package
Just last week, Chelsea were confident that they would be signing every big name player in the world - Torres, Ribery, Ronaldinho, Pele, Roy of the Rovers - but now their masterplan is starting to take an unexpected turn. Despite the severe lack of loyalty and pride in the English top flight, it seems that not everyone can be persuaded to switch teams with a huge briefcase of money…
David Villa to Real Madrid or Barcelona
It wasn’t long ago that Villa was declaring Arsenal his dream club, but upon hearing that Chelsea are chasing him, he is so desperate not to join them that he is begging to stay in Spain.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Straight from the free-scoring horse’s mouth
Robin van Persie to Inter Milan
The Dutchman has had a taste of what it feels like to be part of a winning side at Euro 2008 and apparently he’s hungry for more.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Depends if he gets a pay rise
Dimitar Berbatov to Barcelona
The amnesty on Berbatov transfer rumours
Milan gaffer can’t go 45 minutes without his beloved cancer sticks
In Italy, one can alleviate the stress of top flight management by enjoying the cool refreshing taste of a filthy mid-game cigarette. Sparking up on the touchline in the UK, however, was outlawed pretty much at the same time as the death penalty and witchcraft. Considering Carlo Ancelotti’s crafty antics at last year’s Celtic/ AC Milan game, he wouldn’t last five minutes in any of the Premier League’s fine smoke-free stadia - so it’s no wonder he has decided to stay ‘loyal’ to his current employer.
Still think Ancelotti will come to West London? Put your money where your persistent opinion is right here, you crazy fool.
Something about Paul McCartney taking his Beatle’s stage show to Anfield suggests that people all over Europe might be standing back and hailing Liverpool as the European Capital of Culture around thirty or forty years too late. That said, anyone who doesn’t erupt into tears at the thought of drunk Liverpudlians weeping Yesterday in their thousands should be seriously investigated. In other moving news…
Mark Hughes to Manchester City
Suddenly everyone wants Mark Hughes to take care of their boys - first Abramovich, now these guys. His white hair demands respect, but could a man destined to manage United really do a job at City?
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Surely not.
Michael Essien to Inter Milan
Of course, everyone has been bigging up the chances of Lampsie, Drog-drog and Carvalho heading East to spend quality time with his special highness, but now it seems young Essien has bounced to the front of the queue brandishing a big red apple.
Thomas Gravesen may be powerless to help Everton reach the hallowed top four this season, but at least the on-loan midfielder gets to come home to the loving embrace of girlfriend Kira Eggers. If you recognise the thirty-three year old WAG then shame on you - she is Denmark’s most famous hardcore porn star. (Do a Google Image Search of her name and you’ll find the kind of stuff that would make even Jermain Defoe blush.)
Rangers may be running away with the Scottish Premier League , but it looks as if their Glasgow rivals will be smiling tonight. Celtic are 13/10 favourites to take three points tonight, and you can back them using the best odds available on our oddschicken.
And if you’re looking for something to get you to sleep after the excitement of the Old Firm Derby, our friends in Major League baseball are here to help you out.
Scottish Premier League
Celtic/ Rangers (Setanta Sports 1, 7.45pm) - bet here
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Arizona/ San Francisco (NASN, 8.45pm) - bet here
Swedish WAG is bringing home the bacon with pop music and a lethal book
Magnus Hedman’s former club Celtic unsurprisingly crashed out of the Champions League last night, while his most recent club Chelsea face a tough (if not boring) ordeal with Olympiakos tonight. The Swede had no input to the European progression of either club, however, as they both kicked him to the curb like a Jermain Defoe shag partner. Alas, the towering Swede is currently out of work, making his model/singer/author wife Magdalena Graaf the bread winner in the Hedman household.
The last time Arsene Wenger and his troops visited the San Siro, the Londoners came away with a surprise 5-1 victory. Admittedly it was against Inter and in 2003 (when Theo Walcott was only six years old), but the squad will be hoping for a repeat performance tonight. You can get odds of 500/1 on the same scoreline happening again, but for some more reasonable punts on this and the rest of the games in the final sixteen, head to the oddschicken.