Spot the team names hidden in the collage below

[click image to enlarge]

Cleverly hidden within this picture are the names or nicknames of 42 English league clubs. I’ll get you started with Dancing-Cookies-on-TV Athletic FC. That’s a team name, right?

‘English legend’ is responsible for ‘greatest goal ever’, apparently

Darren Huckerby has just signed up for MLS team San Jose Earthquakes, and its safe to say that KRON 4 (a news channel, not a distant alien planet) are quite excited. The 32 year old from the ‘Norfolk team’ may have scored just five Championship goals last season, but that doesn’t stop the interviewer using the term ‘legend’ three times in the first 25 seconds.

Huckerby, clearly embarrassed by this over-stated praise, failed to score in his debut against Toronto last week.

The best sports on the telebox tonight

Tonight, Leeds will be attempting to make their first ever visit below the top two flights in England as short as possible, as they challenge Carlisle for a place in the Championship. Despite their impromptu managerial change and 15 point deduction, the West Yorkshire club are 8/5 favourites to go up. Those odds aren’t going to get any longer, so get on them right here.

Indian Premier League
Kings XI Punjab/ Bangalore Royal Challengers (Setanta Sports 1, 3.30pm)

Speedway Elite League
Eastbourne Eagles/ Poole Pirates (Sky Sports 2, 7.30pm)

League One Play-off Semi-final First Leg
Leeds Utd/ Carlisle Utd (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Fulham to perform a Houdini-like escape this Sunday

As with the internet, the car and oxygen itself, it is now hard to imagine what life was like before the Apprentice. Not only does it make everything else on television look like the work of half-witted amateurs, but it has come to explain everything about modern life. The state of the economy? Small wonder it’s in such chaos if the business world is run on such pure incompetence. The war in Iraq? How can we hope to understand its complexities if the country’s most educated people can’t even begin to guess which religion eats kosher food? Boris Johnson becoming mayor of London? These people are brought to a state of frozen panic when asked to correctly place an apostrophe on a greetings card - what does that say about their decision making abilities? And so to the final day of the Premier League season, which Sir Alan neatly anticipated by firing two people. This weekend, two teams will be ejected from the top table. Like the Apprentice, there will be a lot of angry finger pointing, but moan as much as they like, two red-faced losers will be strapping themselves bitterly into the taxi of relegation, still none the wiser as to where it all went wrong.

The Spoiler believes Fulham will survive at the weekend. Disagree? Then bet against it!

The statistics

* Reading face Derby on Sunday, who are without a win in 31 league games, and regardless

Who should be roughing it in the Championship next season?

With just three games to go in the league, it looks as if Mr Al Fayed has booked himself a first class one-way trip to the Championship with Derby next season. Just one relegation spot remains in contention, and Bolton, Reading and Birmingham find themselves teetering dangerously close to the edge.

According to Right Result (the site that shows you how the table would look if refs got all the key decisions right), the relegation places would already belong to Bolton (whose own fans can’t even be bothered to turn up to home games) and Reading (whose recent form is only slightly better than that of Derby). But who deserves it this season? Is it one of the three current drop fodder, or a team who currently find themselves in safety? Rudderless Newcastle and inconsistent Middlesbrough spring to mind…

Votes and comments below please.

The best sports on the telebox

It was a devastating shock to see Steve Bruce help Sir Alex Ferguson out at Stamford Bridge last night, and it means that the race for the title will only really get interesting if Wigan beat Manchester Utd on the last day of the season. And something tells me that isn’t going to happen.

Drop down a division, however, and you will see a table that is much wider. Hull could go from fourth place to the top with a win against Barnsley tonight, who may face a relegation battle themselves if they lose. Bet on tonight’s action using the best odds available on the web, and make sure you do it before they decide to call the whole league one big draw.

Blue Square Premier
Exeter City/ Aldershot (Setanta Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Championship
Barnsley/ Hull City (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Setanta Sports Cup
St Patricks Athletic/ Linfield (Setanta Sports 2, 7.45pm)

Who will enjoy a fleeting stay in the Premiership next season?

For its entry, “Terminal Five - a 21st Century Nightmare”, the British Airports Authority has unanimously been awarded this year’s gold medal in the coveted Customer Disappointment Awards. A very special mention, however, goes to all 24 teams of the Coca Cola Championship, especially those vain enough to consider themselves worthy of promotion. The judges said “Congratulations to all of you for consistently letting your fans down. When faced with the opportunity to go top, you have rarely failed to squander the opportunity and your ability to throw away points, even at home against truly pathetic opposition, has not gone unnoticed. You truly are an absolute shower, and woe betide the three of you who make it into the Premier League next season.”

The statistics

* The lowest number of league wins a team has won the title with in the last 20 years is 23 (Middlesbrough, 1995; Sunderland, 1996). Stoke can’t achieve that, Watford would need to win their remaining five, Bristol City need four from four, Hull four from five - hence West Brom have the advantage.

The best sports on the telebox tonight

It looks as if Bolton and Fulham will be getting some away games at the likes of Norwich and Blackpool next year, but who will be joining the big boys next year? The Championship is to tight it makes the Prem look like a foregone conclusion (although some would argue it is already), and tonight Stoke can climb to the top of the pile. It won’t be easy though, as a Crystal Palace win will see them back in the play-off pack. The bookies fancy Stoke, and there’s some great value to be had in the half-time/full-time market - check it out here.

Championship
Stoke City/ Crystal Palace (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Scottish Premier League
Aberdeen/ Falkirk (Setanta Sports 1, 7.45pm)

The best sports on the telebox this weekend

Kevin Keegan’s latest stint at Newcastle will undoubtedly be the highlight of a packed weekend for armchair sportsfans – will his rejuvenated side be able to get the better of Bolton? Check out our preview here, then place your

The best sports programming on the telebox this weekend

The week after Chelsea lost Mourinho, they were charged with the task of getting a result at old Trafford in a televised game. Big Sam-less Newcastle now face exactly the same situation, but will they suffer the same