Coming to a computer near you…

Has there ever been a worse dive in football than this?
( 101gg )

When is a retirement, not a retirement? When it’s announced by Christian Vieri of course
( Dirty Tackle )

Who are Rio’s toughest three opponents?
( Pies )

Naked goalkeepers part 1

Naked goalkeepers part 2

Jack Warner suggests tough measures for World Cup cheats

After deciding that UEFA’s technique of banning players and subsequently letting them off the hook was not an effective method of deterring diving, FIFA vice-president Jack Warner has suggested a rugby-style ’sin bin’ is a distinct possibility for the 2010 World Cup:

“[Often] a guy fakes an injury, and he acts as if it’s the end of the world, and then after you give him the foul he then flies up and kicks the ball.

“That guy should be sent off, and he should be sent off for five minutes.”

A five-minute sin bin would certainly be a strong deterrent for players thinking of hitting the deck, particularly if it was coupled with a yellow card (thus preventing the prospect of multiple sin bin visits from a single player). However, without the assistance of video replays to prove simulation, temporary incarceration could put even more pressure on referees who may be accused of incorrectly using their powers.

So, are you pro-sin bin, or is this just more unwanted tampering from football’s governing body? Let us know below…

Some terribly crafty cheating from Scandinavia

The recent Swedish Allsvenskan tie between IFK Gothenburg and Orebro had to be halted after twenty minutes of play, when the referee discovered that IFK shot stopper Kim Christensen had moved the goalposts four inches closer on both sides before kick off.

It’s hard to know which is more ridiculous: the idea that Christensen thought he could get away with it in front of a stadium full of people and TV cameras, or the idea that the Swedish league uses goals that aren’t buried into the ground. Do they fall over when someone takes a hard enough shot at the post?

[101GG]

A thoroughly rubbish attempt at getting an opponent in trouble

[Dirty Tackle]

Midfielder walks the very fine line between cunning and cheating

In South Melbourne’s recent Victoria Premier League match with stupidly named Sunshine Georgies FC, Brazilian midfielder Fernando de Moraes courteously returned the ball to the opposing keeper after it was put out of play due to injury. Said courtesy didn’t last long, however, as the Brazilian proceeded to chase down his own throw and put in in the net.

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Italian hits the deck in hilarious fashion

Didier Drogba received more flak for his strong commitment to cheating this weekend, but one of the best dives of the 2008/09 Premier League campaign happened at Upton Park on Saturday.

After a rookie defensive error from Jamie Carragher, West Ham’s David di Michele was clean through on goal. At the point where he should have unleashed a shot and made it 2-1, the Italian appeared to trip himself up. Rather than try to find his footing, he then jumped in the air in the style of a Hollywood movie star leaping away from a huge explosion.

Unsurprisingly, di Michele was booked for his laughable attempt at deception.

[Video: 101GG]

The players who go down quicker than Danielle Lloyd at a Manchester Utd Christmas party

Morten Gamst Pedersen - who we hear has taken his phone off the hook and barricaded himself into his house in an attempt to stop the ridicule - threw his hat into the ring for worst dive of the century against Arsenal on Saturday. But who has been responsible for the most unsporting pratfalls in football history? The Spoiler’s Richard Gilzene considers the top ten divers in the history of the beautiful game…

Didier Drogba
Jose Mourinho aside, Jens Lehmann’s is the most galling departure from the Premiership in recent years, if only for the massive entertainment void he left behind. Pitted against another big character in Didier Drogba during his acrobatic pomp, it made sense the pair would team up midway through a tense London derby clash in the 06/07 season, to resurrect the spirit of a 1920s slapstick vaudeville act.

Is it the end for the Prem’s most prolific WAG?

At some point in their career, every Premier League footballer has enjoyed a love making session with Danielle Lloyd. The preposterously-boobed glamour model has made no less than six Premier League conquests public, but her attraction to young men with lots of free time and money could be over, according to an interview she gave to yesterday’s News of the World:

“I’m not in touch with any of my former footballer boyfriends. I don’t like cheats so I don’t want to keep in contact.

“Jermain did what he did to me, he cheated on me. What’s her name, Chantelle, is welcome to him.” [That’ll be Big Brother “star” and fellow nightclub lurker Chantelle Houghton - Ed.]

“I can’t let myself get hurt anymore. I’ve been burnt more than once, I’ve been burnt so many times. If it happens any more I’ll be burnt to a crisp.”

First China White closes, then Danielle Lloyd announces she is out of the game. Things are getting pretty tough for footballers in 2009 - if they stop making the Range Rover Sport, some footballers will have absolutely nothing left to spend their money on.

Spoiler bonus: Danielle now has a modelling agency for those who wish to hire “reliable and sassy girls”.