Taarabt - low blow

The big news from today’s showbusiness desks is that Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud has become more ladylike. They know this because she has a “grown up” hairstyle, and managed to navigate an entire nightclub without once grabbing herself and gurning at photographers. They grow up so fast, these pop stars.

Here’s what else we know, thanks to the likes of The Mirror, The Daily Mail, The Telegraph, The Sun etc…

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A Chelsea dressing room tour (thanks to Spoiler reader, John Swaine)! 

The Real Madrid replacement managers REVEALED

[Daily Mail]

P.Diddy wants to buy Crystal Palace!

[Pies]

Footballers on crutches

[Kickette]

Vidic questions Rooney’s intelligence

[Dirty Tackle]

Drogba gets the cartoon treatment

[Studs Up]

New outfits for Arsenal

[Caught Offside]

Look, ladies! It’s a massive Louis Vuitton bag!

A very high ranking member of The Spoiler team has stumbled across some rather intriguing information about the Chelsea changing rooms.

According to a very well-placed source, the home team gets to prepare for a match in luxurious quarters, kitted out with expensive wallpaper from the famous French fashion house, Louis Vuitton. Whilst the opposition have to make do with a changing room which is not just squalid in comparison, but squalid full stop.

Can this really be so?

If you know anything about the contrasting states of these football dressing rooms, please let is know with a comment. 

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Funny stuff from the Tottenham Blog!

The crazy career of Jens Lehmann under the microscope

[Bild]

Things get worse for Wayne Bridge

[Daily Mail]

An ode to David Beckham

[Dirty Tackle]

The Arsenal-Man United-Chelsea Best XI

[Pies]

Iain Dowie takes over at Hull

[The Telegraph]

Basketball cock punch!

[Deadspin]

50 Cent - Ashley’s shoulder to cry on

They say that whenever one door closes, a window opens. Or it might be the other way round. The window first, then the door. Either way, the point is that, in life, one humongous cock-punch can frequently lead to a surprisingly soft kiss on the mouth just when you least expect it. 

Metaphorically speaking.

And today, the big news is that Ashley Cole has just been on the receiving end of a figurative smooch from the buxom street rapper, 50 Cent.

Chelsea 0-1 Inter

Well done to the clever 69 per cent of Spoiler readers who seemed pretty convinced that Jose Mourinho could put one over on his old club - take the rest of the day off! Above is the one goal from the game.

Is one of these men “the new Gary Lineker”?

Romance fans will be bitterly disappointed today, with news that Kate Winslet has managed to make a pig’s ear of another marriage - she’s divorcing Sam Mendes, the man who directed the slow moving Jamie Redknapp hairstyle biopic, Jarhead. As expected, showbiz desks are completely furious about this.

One group who couldn’t give a monkeys, however, are the hard working sports writers. Not big Winslet fans, these office heroes have avoided the furore entirely, and have been instead been writing about football. Here’s what we know today, thanks to the likes of The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Guardian etc…:

Or, erm, not?

With his high opinions of himself smeared all over the daily papers, it’s fair to say that Jose Mourinho is feeling rather confident about his return to Stamford Bridge this evening.

But will he leave with bits of egg dribbling from his chin, shame-faced and humiliated? Or with his head rather larger than anyone thought possible?

Let is know with a vote and a comment.