Carly Zucker, John Travolta

While the rest of us were distracted by a fantastic weekend of football, Carly Zucker was busily zipping around London in a preposterous disco outfit. Of course, this isn’t the first time we’ve been treated to white top and flares combo, pre-Scientology maniac John Travolta was rocking exactly the same vibe back in the 1970s.

Everyone’s seen Saturday Night Fever, but have you seen him in Staying Alive? It’s by far the best film ever made - enjoy a clip after the jump…

Away from the pitch they’re just like you… only cooler

Thank Christ for the paparazzi. There, we said it. Because without these drooling heroes with their gigantic cameras and intrusive personalities, we would know nothing about the real lives of our footballers and their WAGs. Until this afternoon, we were convinced that Rio Ferdinand sent a fleet of slave children to Waitrose to fetch his groceries, that Deco stayed in playing Pro Evolution Soccer during the evenings, and that Cheryl Cole spent all her free time drinking glasses of milk with her husband. Wrong on all counts, it seems. Here’s what we’ve learned thanks to the paps:

1. Rio Ferdinand stocks up on pizza, salad, and Lucozade at Somerfield. Just like the rest of us.

2. When Deco isn’t teaching Lampsie, JT and Drog-Drog how to correctly fashion a stubbly beard, he can be found casually chatting up brunette women in the back of expensive cars.

3. And, most interestingly of all, when Cheryl Cole isn’t weeping to the sounds of mentally sick people singing on X Factor, she glances wistfully out of windows (above), or cowers next to pretty stone walls (below).

See all the proof you need after the jump…

Who says tough guys don’t wear panties?

It’s been quite a day for footballers letting it all hang out. First Jermaine Pennant casually turned up for work in just a pair of socks, and now John Terry has been caught fraternising with enthusiastic fans whilst in the process of peeling his trousers off. Of course, some people might question what the England captain is doing removing his clothes in what appears to be a busy European corridor, but those people are exactly the kind of detectives The Spoiler prefers to avoid.

On a different note, has JT been attending the same fake tan application classes as Lampsie?

For another take on things, head over to Kickette.

Tomorrow’s headlines today

Look at you, sitting there, gorging yourself on all things Big Brother. You need to take some time out for football, friend. Here’s all the big news from the day after today. Otherwise known as “tomorrow”…

Portsmouth want Ronaldo
No, the world hasn’t gone completely bananas, Cristiano isn’t desperate to move to Fratton Park, this is the REAL Ronaldo. The one who’s fat and looks a little bit like Fred West (pictured). The injured striker didn’t have his AC Milan contract renewed and is looking for someone to take pity on him - kindly Harry Redknapp might be the man for the job.

Chelsea signing off without playing a game
Eagle-eyed Avram Grant signed two players as Chelsea manager: Nicolas Anelka - he who missed the decisive penalty in the Champions League final - and Branislav Ivanovic, who cost £9.7 million but is yet to play a game. Chelsea supposedly beat off Man United and the whole of Italy for the defender’s signature, but are now ready to offload him to Juventus for under £4 million. Now, The Spoiler ain’t no Carol Vorderman, but that sounds like bad b’iness to us.

Apologies, Chelsea fans, but it never goes in

All the while, elsewhere on the so-called “internet”…

Can you guess which Man United player these people belong to?

[Kickette]

Say ahoy to Scotland’s finest cheerleaders

[Claymores]

Bet on Tevez to score in Russia

[chickendinner]

Lily Allen upsets F1 Boss

[Grid Crasher]

Chelsea fans touch down in Moscow

[Chelsea Pies]

Have a look at John Terry’s cheerful wife

Should you see a woman with delightfully blonde hair nervously gnawing her knuckles in Moscow on Wednesday night, ask yourself this question: is that, by any chance, Toni Poole - wife of John Terry? Chances are it probably is.

She’ll be nervous for numerous reasons, what with it being the Champions League final, and him going into the match with an unusually sore elbow. But more than anything, she’ll be yearning for a Chelsea win, so as not to spend their eight week summer beach holiday padding away his tears with a piece of kitchen roll, telling him that everything will be okay. She knows it won’t be, how could it be?

While his pop star wife nipped out to look sensual with her bandmates, Ashley Cole took it upon himself to launch headlong into yet another set of enormous social blunders.

Mistake Number One was going to Chinawhites on a Wednesday - that (along with Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Friday and Monday) is the big “let’s get drunk and have sex” night at the exclusive wine bar. The wife would not be impressed, especially given the fact that her husband has a bad habit of fornicating with other women.