Cheltenham Gold Cup, Friday, 3.15pm, bet here

If you’re like most people in this country, you parted company with an interest in horses shortly after you realised they couldn’t really speak or fly. Televised racing’s attempt to fill the gap, all honey-voiced commentators droning on with their mysterious vocabulary, too often felt like an afternoon at the hands of a foreign hypnotist. This week’s Cheltenham festival, which starts tomorrow, is an opportunity to reconsider that relationship, with a Gold Cup on Friday that promises the kind of drama Friday afternoons have been criminally lacking for years. Two wonderhorses - the athletic Kauto Star and the powerful Denman - make this the most anticipated race in decades. To take full advantage of the Gold Cup experience without actually attending, you’ll need to have a few drinks beforehand - champagne for the better-offs, beer for the riff-raff - and have a sod of fragrant turf handy from which to breathe deeply every so often. Then you just need to get a bet on and shout stuff at the telly. If you’re not sure what, try “But you promised me you could fly!” Even if you lose, you’ll feel a whole lot better.

To bet online, you can open an account with Paddy Power who will give you a free £10 bet.

Or if you just want to check the best odds, visit the oddschicken.

The statistics

* Kauto Star has only been beaten once in his last ten starts.