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chickendinner believe Arsenal will beat Derby 3-0 tonight
[chickendinner]

Video: Even though Nike’s new advert is directed by Guy Ritchie, it’s pretty good
[YouTube]

Avram Grant stars in Platoon
[Chelsea Pies]

Mike Tyson is fat now
[Daily Mail]

Video: Heikki Kovalainen’s Spanish GP crash
[Grid Crasher]

The Champions League semi-finals drinking game
[Champions League Offside]

China’s hosting of the Olympics continues to be a bad idea
[Fan IQ]

You couldn’t make up the kind of dirty tactics going on in this match

A superb find from The Beautiful Game

Horny athletes will be granted the jazz mags they deserve

Olympic athletes from around the world may not be able to breathe properly during this summer’s games, but at least they’ll able to read their favourite art publications when recovering from the symptoms of extreme pollution.

The Chinese government are huge fans of censorship, and the punishment for being caught with grot is severe. But as a gesture of internationalism, our Eastern friends will be relaxing

David Beckham condoms take China by storm

The Chinese have taken their love of David Beckham to a new high by launching a brand of condoms in his name.

Beckham, who will put his face on just about any product for a nice fat cheque, has not actually officially endorsed the prophylactics, yet its makers claim they will help users score in the bedroom like Mr B does on the pitch. They are currently outselling any other brand in the country.

Eastern fans of the LA Galaxy star, however, want the

Al Gore’s right, pollution is bad and that

As a result of coal-fired industries, geographical location and a huge amount of cars, Beijing is covered in a thick grey cloud most of the time. In fact, the air quality is so bad that people were told to stay inside their homes a fortnight ago due to ‘hazardous pollution levels.’

As a result, several Olympic events may be delayed or postponed, in light of the health risks to the athletes: in an Olympic biking test event last September, just eight of fifty riders finished, most blaming the

Broadcaster’s wife ruins perfectly good TV broadcast

Zhang Bin is feeling pretty ashamed of himself right now. As presented the relaunch of China’s main sports channel, CCTV5, he was confronted on stage by his angry wife, a fellow sports anchor.

In case you Chinese is a little rusty, she is accusing Zhang

The prospective England gaffer won’t be taking any nonsense concerning tactics

During a 1996 friendly tour of China with Milan, Paolo Di Canio had the audacity to question Fabio Capello’s tactics. After being substituted for a defender to protect a half time 1-0 lead, Di Canio asked why the gaffer cared so much for a result against a China XI. After a Gordon Ramsay-style expletive tirade, Capello offered these immortal words:

“Your face looks like a penis.”

Di Canio didn’t play for Milan again.

The ‘Beijing Civilized Workers Cheering Squad’ are here to help

The Chinese government are enforcing the grip of communism on their people making sure everyone has a super happy fun time at the Olympics next year by introducing rules and etiquette for those in attendance.

The powers that be don’t believe folks have the intelligence to cheer at the correct moment, and to save an international embarrassment, have created the ‘Beijing Civilised Workers

China gears up for international guests, ignores syntax, spelling and grammar

On a daily basis, school children up and down the country tackle French homework - no easy feat when Xboxes and Zoo Magazine are competing for our young minds’ attention. This means many are tempted to use translation sites like Babelfish, which will effortlessly convert whole blocks of text into another tongue. Unfortunately, it tends to throw up sentences like ‘I want walk dog going sideways’ and ‘she likes of the swimming to be’, and any teacher worth their salt will pick up on this web-based deceit.

Presumably, the Chinese had some sort of budget crisis (an over-order of underground toilets?), and opted for the cheap and cheerful Babelfish when they produced these helpful signs to guide westerners around Beijing.