Tomorrow’s headlines today…
As another Monday draws to a close, we look around and evaluate what we’ve learned. Blake Fielder-Civil, the man responsible for nurturing Amy Winehouse, has finally realised that monkeying around with the law means one thing - chokey. And tomorrow, you might be learning a little about this kind of stuff…
English football no longer fashionable
It’s not just North London that is losing its sex appeal, it’s all of London, what with its silly knife crime and fragrant crack smoking. Take Samuel Eto’o - his agent has been heard grunting about how the striker is going to say a big “NO WAY” to both Chelsea and Tottenham, he wants to stay in Barcelona instead, and little Robinho from Real Madrid would rather risk lugging Cristiano Ronaldo’s spare boots around next season than move to the new capital of street robbery. How come, guys?
Wenger slaps Real Madrid on the wrist
Arsene Wenger took a break from selling all of his players to tell the club’s magazine that evil foreign teams are just, well, evil. “You can destabilise any player in the world - that is irresponsible,” he groaned. “These are big clubs that should be setting an example to others.”
Presumably these comments were made before he starting questioning Andrei Arshavin’s ability to perform at the top level?
