Also appearing on a computer near you…

21-year-old Italian Grand Prix winner Sebastian Vettel could earn €100m over the next ten years
[Grid Crasher]

Sepp Blatter arrived in Africa recently, and proceeded to bust a few moves
[Fanhouse]

Thierry Henry’s ex-wife Claire Merry gets post-divorce cosmetic surgery
[Daily Mail]

Monty Panesar looks to The Fonz for inspiration
[Polite Applause]

Joe Cole’s wife-to-be Carly Zucker wants to make you fit
[Kickette]

The FA will investigate Alex Ferguson’s remarks concerning John Terry’s red card
[BBC]

Luca Toni’s Wife Marta Cecchetto is the number one Bundesliga WAG
[Bild]

It’s the lady who feels entitled to half of Thierry’s career earnings

Back in 2001, Thierry Henry was filming one of his mildly annoying Renault Clio adverts (”Ey Bobby, what’s ze French for ‘Va Va Voom?’”), when he noticed a model prancing around the set in little more than a man’s shirt and some ladypants. That lovely young thing was 27-year-old Claire Merry, who became Henry’s girlfriend with immediate effect, and two years later became his wife.

As you will undoubtedly know, however, the couple announced their divorce last year, and the latest news is that Claire will be ‘taking him to the cleaners‘ to the sum of £10m for his alleged infidelities with a make-up artist named Sadie Hewlett. Quite how she feels she is entitled to such a huge amount is anyone’s guess, but the Croydon-born beauty is pursuing his funds with the tenacity that Andriy Voronin seeks out awful clothing.

The first lady of Liverpool is playing her part in the Capello regime

Some people are taking Fabio Capello’s ban on WAGs much more seriously than others. Wayne Rooney’s missus is currently keeping her distance in the Caribbean sun, while Alex Curran had to choose between watching her husband’s first international captaincy, and laying on a beach in Dubai. Stevie G was glancing up at an empty seat at Wembley last night, because the feisty former nail technician chose the latter.