It’s only a matter of time before the clown puking a rainbow into a toilet jumper reaches our shores

Morons can order the charming pullover here for just €24.95.

[Source: Bild]

Time to jump ship, Spurs fans?

What a horrendous start to the season. Poor Spurs. Pre-season hinted towards a brighter day, with Darren Bent providing some decent form to sooth the inevitable loss of Berbs along with Keano. But it’s all gone awry. To the point where Ramos couldn’t even squeeze Bent into the starting line up against Portsmouth, while, as if to add insult to injury, it was two ex-Tottenham strikers who sealed a south coast victory. Has one man ever been more unlucky?

Our pals at Chickendinner have come up with five reasons to get even more depressed - avid supporters, look away now…

» Five of the last six clubs to have failed to win any of their opening six Premier League games have been relegated. The team that survived – West Brom in 2004-05 – didn’t fare much better, going into the final day in last place before completing a great escape.

» In each of the last six seasons, the team that have been bottom after five games has gone on to be relegated: West Ham, Wolves, Crystal Palace, Sunderland, Sheffield United and Derby.