German midfielder forced to ride a bicycle or something

In light of his fervent popularity among Chelsea fans, Michael Ballack has been selected to star in Adidas’ latest viral ad.

Keep your eyes peeled around the ten second mark to see the referees’ favourite sporting Chelsea’s brand new Robocop-style home kit.

See the Blues’ world famous “stretching in front of giant golden statues” routine and so much more

Ever wondered what Chelsea get up to at their super futuristic Cobham training facility? Us neither, but we have unearthed an insight into the daily routine of Guss Hiddink’s men…

Deco gives himself a thorough eyebrow workout on the pool table.

JT dresses Franco Di Santo every day. Here, the young Argentinean is concerned that El Capitan has messed up the tie and shirt order, but is thankful that he managed to put his pants on before his trousers this time.

See the rest of the snaps after the jump….

West Ham fans miss their first win over Chelsea in six years

The Spoiler can’t stand the monotony of international breaks where nothing ever happens in the week building up to the game and it looks like Chelsea and West Ham feel the same way.

Gianfranco Zola and Steve Clarke took a group of players who aren’t off gallivanting with their national teams - including Luis Boa Morte, Kieron Dyer and Savio - to Chelsea’s Cobham training ground to have a kickaround with the likes of Alex, Florent Malouda and Ricardo Quaresma.

The Hammers were 4-2 victors thanks largely to youngster Junior Stanislas but any sense of achievement in beating the Blues for the first time since 2003 was tempered by the fact Ray Wilkins was managing the opposition.

Spartak have a unique way of showing gratitude

Chelsea’s multi-million pound state-of-the-art training facility in Cobham is the envy of the Premier League. Once players obtain access to the opulent facility via finger print recognition technology, they may enjoy lush training pitches, artwork by prominent graffiti artist Temper and at the end of the day, they can grab a towel (not the pink one, that’s Lampsie’s) and relax in the sauna.

Ahead of Spartak Moscow’s clash with Tottenham tonight, Roman Abramovich has kindly offered use of the facility to the Russians. Striker Artur Maloyan, however, isn’t impressed with the two-bit operation the club are running in Surrey:

“At our grounds, they cook so much better,” he said. ” We saw Terry, Carvalho and Cole using the same canteen as us. Those guys must be pretty undemanding.

“The food they have is pretty frugal. And they sit on plastic chairs which are more suitable for outdoor BBQ parties, and even eat from disposable plates here.”

There are several reasons to doubt Maloyan’s account of Cobham: firstly, the Chinese Olympic football team praised the food when they stayed last year, and anyone who calls Ashley Cole “pretty undemanding” clearly doesn’t have a firm grasp on reality.

[The Telegraph]

Joe Cole glad he ignored Al Gore when choosing motor

Big Phil Scolari officially started work at Chelsea’s Cobham training ground yesterday, and he almost did so a man down. On the way to training, Joe Cole’s Range Rover became rather too well acquainted with a 40-ton lorry:

“[Cole] dashed to the aid of another driver trapped in his Vauxhall Signum.

“The Chelsea winger’s £50,000 4×4 took the full impact of the Scania lorry - and careered into the Vauxhall.

“Driver John Jury was knocked unconscious - and came to with Cole banging on his window.”

The dent in the plush Chelsea tractor doesn’t look particularly life threatening, but the other driver claims Cole would not have survived if he had been driving a sports car, or one of those hybrid efforts that obnoxious people drive to let people know they are better than everyone else. Absolutely no one who lives in or around London needs a 4×4, yet it seems the winger and his bride-to-be Carly Zucker have done the right thing in completely disregarding their carbon footprint.

Spoiler bonus: it looks like someone has been playing tricks with Joe Cole’s Wikipedia entry…

[click image to enlarge]