Tomorrow’s headlines today…

As you have been wondering how Rio Ferdinand found it appropriate to name both his children after an obscure actor, The Spoiler has been looking for the headlines that will grace the newspapers tomorrow. Looks like it’s going to be a slow news day…

Stephen Appiah one step closer to the Premiership
The former Juventus midfielder has confirmed that he is finally fed up at Fenerbahce, and is hoping to terminate his contract with the Turkish club. West Ham and Portsmouth have long been trying to lure the Ghana international to England and will be delighted to hear that Appiah is on the lookout for a new club. The 27 year old may be the perfect addition to West Ham’s lightweight midfield, but the cash strapped club are likely to be reluctant to meet his wage demands, rumoured to be in the region of £70,000 a week.

Mutu to appeal against fine
Sexy druggie Adrian Mutu is set to launch an appeal against his massive £13.5 million fine, to be paid to former employers Chelsea. Boasting a newfound sense of morality, Mutu referred to his punishment as “inhumane” and “unjust”, and has vowed to fight against FIFA insistence that he pays Lampard’s wages for a few months.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Grid Crasher covers all the important motorsport news - from Formula One to sexy bikini car washing

“I don’t care about this medal. I wanted gold,” said the Swedish wrestler who threw his bronze medal to the floor in protest
[Bild]

Recreational drug user Adrian Mutu owes Chelsea £13.8m - that’s at least two months of Frank Lampard’s time
[The Offside]

…Now we mention it, Frank appears to have about £14m on display in his wallet
[Kickette]

chickendinner’s Premier League top ten predictions
[chickendinner]

Oscar de la Hoya’s niece seems nice
[Machochip]

Former Miss Italy enjoys footballers and constant nakedness

I have not actually seen the agreement a model must sign to become Miss Italy, but I can only assume there is a clause stipulating a compulsory relationship with a footballer. The pageant show has already given us Martina Colombari, Francesca Chillemi, Vincenza Cacace and Elisabetta Gregoraci, and now 1999 winner and nudity enthusiast Francesca Lodo joins their ranks. She has been engaged to Inter’s Javier Zanetti (despite the fact that she met his current wife in 1992) and she has also enjoyed the company of Francesco Coco - a self-professed ‘drugged-up gay who lives in nightclubs’ who has also steamrollered former WOTD Manuela Arcuri.

French World Cup winner tells all in new autobiography

Despite having a haircut that would exclude most men from any kind of social interaction and a name reminiscent of soft focus grot films, Emmanuel Petit really lived it up during his time at Arsenal. In his autobiography A Fleur de Peau, published in France yesterday, the former defensive midfielder said he ‘went off the rails a bit’ after winning the World Cup:

“On my days off I discovered the parallel world of Parisian nights - private soirees, swapping clubs,” says Petit.

“They often went on in incredibly luxurious apartments whose owners I didn’t even know - but everyone recognised me.”

The unscrupulously honest Frenchman goes on to talk about a sexy rendezvous at the Sopwell House Hotel in St Albans:

“This pretty girl came regularly,” says Petit. “We had a relationship one day in the snooker room. The next morning,

The latest gossip to be whispered in our ears

Rumour: An Aston Villa first team player was seen doing cocaine at a private party last year.

The Spoiler’s truth-o-meter: A friend claims to have seen this act first-hand, although how he would have escaped the Premier League’s random testing without pulling a