Prem player pays tribute to favourite hobby and breaks stuff

A few weeks ago we told you about the Premiership star who would rather play with his beloved quad bikes than kick a ball around a field. The same player was recently enjoying some sophisticated conversation with a foxy friend of The Spoiler when the subject of household decorations came up. Revealing his artistic side, the player proudly declared that he was making a “colleague” of quad bikes to sit above his mantle piece. (Unless he invented a new collective noun for four-wheeled off road vehicles, we can probably assume he meant ‘collage’.)

The same player was so upset that his long-proposed transfer to a rival Premiership club fell through yesterday, that he “smashed up” some of Newcastle Utd’s high-tech gym equipment.

We also know that the well-remunerated star will not be reading this, as he doesn’t own a computer.