… a bit rubbish

This week, John Barnes and Barnsley FC’s resident poet Ian McMillan judged the government-backed ‘Get On’ competition, in which fans from hundreds of clubs submitted chants that they had written themselves.

Southend Utd fan Terry Cockell penned an ode to Dougie Freedman set to the tune of The Wombles. Despite picking a melody that is rather more synonymous with AFC Wimbledon, the 39-year-old accountant’s effort won the grand prize, which was a trip to a recording studio.

Here are the lyrics to Britain’s Best Football Chant:

Underground, overground signed on a free,

He’s Dougie Freedman of S.U.F.C.

Scores goals for fun, he’s blue through and through,

Better watch out ‘cos he’ll score against you.

John Barnes - whose Anfield Rap helped Liverpool lose the 1988 FA Cup Final - was full of indifferent praise for the winning chant:

Unlike Portugal, you could be heading to South Africa

*** COMPETITION NOW CLOSED ***

The Spoiler is in possession of a FIFA-branded Sony Ericsson W995 mobile, worth £500. We’re not showing off our fabulous taste in hand held telecommunications though, we’re giving to give it away to one lucky reader.

The lucky so and so who bags the phone will then be entered into a draw for the chance to win a ‘Golden Ticket’ to the FIFA World Cup 2010 in South Africa. That means a pair of tickets to see every single match of your chosen country, plus flights and accommodation.

Sounds good, right? For your chance to win, all you have to do is answer the following question:

Which squad number was Marco Materazzi wearing when Zinedine Zidane headbutted him in the 2006 final?

If you think you know the answer or you have the ability to use Wikipedia, send your name, address, a list of turn-ons and the answer to us here. Actually, keep the turn-ons to yourself.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Competition: Tell us the name of the player that Hayden Christensen is watching from the stands in the picture above, and you can win one of five Blu-Ray DVDs of rather enjoyable motion picture Jumper, out today. Send your answers here.

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