Crocked West Ham striker camps it up

Morning, campers. Did you sleep well? If so, spare a thought for poor old Craig Bellamy who probably spent the night in a tent. A couple of words beginning and ending with the letter t spring to mind at the though of the West Ham striker, but until now tent was not one of them.

The Welshman has had an altitude tent installed in his home to help overcome his constant injury troubles. While The Spoiler cannot condone a 29-year-old man spending every night of his life in a tent (is that how Michael Jackson started?), Bellamy seems convinced that he is prolonging his career. He said:

“I sleep at altitude every night. I’ve got my own tent and everything. It’s supposed to speed up your recovery. It helps your endurance, helps your speed - it makes you a fitter athlete. So we’ll see in time.”

There are a few people in football who would suggest that Bellamy deserves to spend his nights alone in a confined space, but I am not sure an altitude tent is what they had in mind.

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies…

Darren Bent’s pre-season goal haul convinced some Spurs fans that they could cope without Robbie Keane and Dimitar Berbatov, but he has played all 180 minutes of Spurs poor start without having any impact, and it’s painfully obvious he needs someone alongside him. So imagine how they’ll feel when they pick up today’s papers and see that Chelsea might be making a £20m move for Andrei Arshavin…

Craig Bellamy to Man City
Rumours that the West Ham board are trying to force Alan Curbishley’s resignation heightened this morning when Sky Sports reported that Manchester City are in talks over Bellamy, who has started just eight games for the club. Curbs has played down speculation, but did the same with Anton Ferdinand before being forced to admit defeat.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Things are looking gloomy - Curbishley is now 15/8 with Will Hill to “win” the Sack Race

Shaun Wright-Phillips to Man City
Over the weekend all the talk was that Chelsea’s winger

Fortunately he didn’t have access to a golf club

In news that will undoubtedly rock the foundations of the football community, Craig Bellamy has been accused of abusing a female fan during last night’s 5-3 friendly win over Ipswich:

Bellamy was substituted with a leg injury halfway through the first half and, as he limped off, the £7million star became embroiled in a war of words.

The fan instantly reported the player’s outburst to a nearby police officer. Suffolk police spokesman Mark Norman said: “Officials of Ipswich and West Ham are both aware that an incident has taken place.” It overshadowed a thrilling night of football at Portman Road.

Allegedly the striker, who has already been in trouble with the fuzz in the closed season for going to town on a charity worker, was goaded by a female fan as he left the field. He said: “F*cking Ipswich prostitutes.” It’s very easy to lambast the tattooed Welshman for his outburst, but that’s quite a witty off-the-cuff retort for a man with whose idea of a good time is racially aggravated assault.

Striker misinterprets purpose of goodwill mission

When it comes down to it, Craig Bellamy is a good guy. If you ignore the golf club attacks on teammates, nightclub assaults on women, chair hurling, racially aggravated assault and his thoroughly unprofessional attitude to transfers, he’s just a sweet little lamb with a pure heart. In testament to that fact, he’s just set up the Craig Bellamy Foundation in Sierra Leone, using £650,000 of his own money to help the disadvantaged children of the war-torn nation. Awww.

Oh wait, he’s just gone and duffed up a charity worker after an all-day drinking session in a casino:

The incident happened in the country’s capital, Freetown, in the early hours of Saturday after Bellamy and his two former SAS bodyguards went for drinks at the Lagonda Casino.

One witness said: “Bellamy had two minders with him but within 20 minutes of his arrival there was trouble.

“He was playing on a roulette table when something seemed to upset him. He was shouting and squaring up to people at the table.

“A few seconds later he jumped on one guy and started wrestling