Pietersen shuns future leaders of industry in nightclub
Last night, South African-born England cricket captain Kevin Pietersen squired his lovely wife Jessica Taylor about foggy London town, accompanied by his brother and his respective ladyfriend. The double-daters enjoyed fine sustenance at Nobu Berkeley, and then decided it was time to throw some shapes on the dancefloor. They arrived at popular WAG hangout Mahiki, but left immediately when they discovered it was student night.
Why the hatred for the work-shy university layabouts, Kev? Does the prospect of hordes of financially impaired youngsters throwing up on your shoes while dressed up in comedy golfing attire bother you that much? Hmm, point taken.
Spoiler bonus: See more of Jessica and her love of falconry here
The popstar who has just been crowned the First Lady of cricket
Following Michael Vaughan’s unashamedly teary adieu as England Cricket Captain yesterday, Kevin Pietersen (who was born in South Africa) has been named as the nation’s new fall guy. Thus, it seems fitting that today’s WAG of the Day should be KP’s wife Jessica Taylor. When she isn’t shooting her best ‘Blue Steel’ at the camera or enjoying a spot of under-dressed falconry, Jess dances and mimes in made-for-television pop band Liberty X.
Oddly-named model who once bowled over unpopular SA captain
South African captain Graeme Smith may not be the most-loved man in English cricket (KP once referred to him as an ‘absolute muppet’), but this has absolutely no effect on his ability to bring home the proverbial bacon in the WAG department. During the South Africa tour of India in 2004, the media couldn’t get enough of his relationship with Minki van der Westhuizen, who was the reigning Sexiest Woman in the World according to a popular gentleman’s periodical.
An antipodean cricket wife who can rock a cow-print bikini
Neil McKenzie - the man who smacked England all over the place for nine hours at Lords recently - has seen his cricket career hampered by awkward jibes of “where’s your sister,” mainly because she looks like this. Having a sibling voted the hottest woman in South Africa by a popular men’s magazine did prove beneficial, however, as he married her best pal, a Wonderbra model named Kerry McGregor.
Exciting developments in the world of organ transplants: people receiving the transplanted organs have been found to take on the personalities of the donors. After receiving the kidney of a brainy person, soap fan Cheryl Johnson, 37, suddenly found herself more interested in Egyptology and the novels of Dostoevsky. A woman previously terrified of heights became a climber after a transplant, and a child who received the heart of a murder victim suddenly started having terrible nightmares (expect horror franchise on this theme shortly.)
The England cricket team in New Zealand was also just one game away from needing an emergency talent transplant as a last throw of the dice - their ability to play competitively
Over the next few days, lads from good ol’ Blighty will be hawking their sporting wares on both sides of the equator: the rugger team will struggle to defeat the Irish on home soil, the cricket team will struggle to cover up their embarrassing first test in New Zealand, and tiny little Lewis Hamilton will probably struggle to defeat the might of Kimi Räikkönen in Australia (although I tip him to get pole at 5/2). Whether you have faith in our boys or not, show your alliances with a punt using the best odds available.
FRIDAY
Cricket - second test
New Zealand/ England (Sky Sports 1, 9pm)