These men stepped up to the plate, brought their A game, gave it 110 per cent etc…

As everyone knows, the semi finals and finals of important competitions are an appalling waste of time. Everyone’s too frightened to touch the ball, to the point where grown men just gather around staring at each other, too paranoid to even speak. Hence, the team of the tournament has been chosen based on the real football that The Spoiler has already witnessed…

GK Iker Casillas (Spain)
For single handedly snatching football glory away from the Italians, and looking a little bit like a child attempting to grow a beard. Out-goallied Buffon.

DL Yuri Zhirkov (Russia)
Once you’ve finished rolling around on the floor in hysterics because his name sounds a little bit like “jerk off”, you’ll notice that he’s been a prince amongst left backs. Brilliant.

DC Giorgio Chiellini (Italy)
Whilst it made for the most face-scratchingly boring non-England match since Glasgow Women’s Deaf and Dumb Wheelchair Team took on the local hospice’s Coma XI, don’t forget that the Italian defence was brilliant. Particularly this man.

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The Offside catch Germany coach Joachim Loew forgetting about the thousands of people and cameras surrounding him

Paul Ince is in contention to take Fergie’s throne at Old Trafford
[chickendinner Bet Blog]

Why supporting Croatia is just like supporting England
[UK Football Finder]

Car Porn: The world’s first electric/ solar/ petrol hybrid
[Grid Crasher]

Marcus Bent and Gemma Atkinson hit the beach
[WithLeather]

David Pleat’s mispronunciation XI
[Pies]

Simone Lambe and Petra Frings told to stay at home

Last week, we revealed that Croatia is a Pro-WAG nation - players have been banned from seeing friends at their Euro 2008 camp, but have been permitted as many conjugal visits as they please. As a result, they’ve pulled off a perfect record, including a shock victory over the Germans.

Despite this shining example of WAGs working in perfect harmony with a national side, Michael Ballack has declared war on his nations supporting ladies, insisting they are the reason behind Germany’s shaky start:

Skipper Michael Ballack is furious that his team-mates have been seeing too much of their wives and girlfriends.

Ballack and his senior sidekick Torsten Frings were still fuming that the rest of the squad spent the day after their defeat against Croatia last week - which left their quarter-final place

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Competition: Tell us the name of the player that Hayden Christensen is watching from the stands in the picture above, and you can win one of five Blu-Ray DVDs of rather enjoyable motion picture Jumper, out today. Send your answers here.

Some fantastic Euro 2008 look-alikes
[UK Football Finder]

Nine reasons Poland will beat Croatia
[chickendinner]

Football 365 club-by-club fixture guide
[Football 365]

QPR owner Flavio Briatore somehow persuaded WAG Elisabetta Gregoraci to marry him
[Grid Crasher]

More of Euro 2008’s hottest fans
[Pies]

Uh Oh, Blackburn are interviewing Steve McLaren for the manager’s job
[Caught Offside]

Slaven is allowing the squad conjugal visits

Several reasons may be given for Croatia’s unexpected victory over former tournament favourites Germany last night - the Deutscher’s lack of cohesion, Schweini’s sending off, Croatia’s ‘balls out’ attacking style - but the chaps over at The Offside Euro 2008 blog have got the famous victory figured out:

Croatia coach Slaven Bilic has banned visits to his Euro 2008 camp by friends and acquaintances but he is happy to let his players enjoy an afternoon with their wives and girlfriends … as long as they announce their visits in advance and don’t disrupt the morning and evening training sessions.

In World Cup 2006, Italy and Germany lifted the nookie ban, and the former won it while the latter finished third. So with this in mind, the ear ring-wearing rocker has landed on the correct side of the

Germans and Austrians left scratching their heads this morning

On the shock German loss, this morning’s Sun newspaper lead with “Slaven Bilic’s side finally put a smile back on our faces by sticking it to the old enemy.” Presumably, if the tournament favourites had won, it would have read “Joachim Loew’s side finally put a smile back on our faces by sticking it to the old enemy.” Either way, seeing the side that defeated us twice in qualifying also defeat a quality German team was mildly therapeutic.

In Vienna, Austria were seconds away from joining co-hosts Switzerland on the reject pile when they nabbed a last minute penalty, keeping them in the tournament for a couple more days.

Watch out Group B, Croatia have rawk on their side

When he’s not chain smoking or embarrassing England, Croatian coach Slaven Bilić loves nothing better than rocking it old school with his band Rawbau. The ‘Healing & Easy Listening/ Religious/ Experimental’ quintet have recorded Croatia’s official Euro 2008 anthem, entitled ‘Vatreno ludilo’ (‘Fiery madness’) and Slaven is the guy in the video with the shades and snazzy Explorer guitar.

It sounds like something you may have heard on continental MTV in 1999, but it’s a damn sight better than some of England’s recent anthems.

The clever chaps at the Croatian Offside have translated the lyrics, and any song that squeezes the names of four nations into a single line is a winner in my book:

The best sports on the telebox tonight

The last time England failed to qualify for a major tournament (that’ll be good ol’ USA ‘94), our boys went on to win their next two friendlies. Admittedly, these were against Denmark and Greece, and not our cultured friends from across The Channel, but a surprise could be on the cards tonight. Bookies are currently offering 21/10 for Beckham and co to topple the Euro 2008 qualifying nation on their home soil, a bet I fancy much more than the optimistic 15/8 being offered for Scotland beating Croatia. For the best odds on all tonight’s internationals, head to the oddschicken.

International Friendlies

Luxembourg/ Wales International (S4C, 7.15pm)
France/ England (Sky Sports 1, 8pm)
Scotland/ Croatia (Sky Sports 2, 8pm)
Spain/ Italy (Setanta Ireland, 9pm)

She sounds posh, but her public steamrollering habits say otherwise

The night before England’s crucial qualifying match with Croatia at Wembley, the England squad stayed at the Grove Hotel in Watford, whose decor is more akin to a knocking shop than a top-class hotel. The same day, a group of models were attending a photoshoot for breast cancer awareness at the hotel, and the paths of ‘soccer ace’ Alan Smith and Sophie Bovington-Kerr collided. In a

Will he be able to master the English language?

At his official showcasing at FA headquarters, Fabio Capello boasted (through a translator) that he will be able to speak English after just one month of