Fellow Eastern European emigre warns of ‘dark-skinned people’

Sergio Rebrov, who contributed little except for bad feeling in return for a pay packet at Tottenham, has been kind enough to offer advice to Roman Pavlyuchenko following his arrival in North London. Yet he didn’t dispense useful tips for avoiding traffic on the north circular or let him know that an umbrella might come in handy in Blighty - his comments had a much more discriminatory tinge:

‘I wouldn’t go for a walk on my own around White Hart Lane.

‘A lot of dark skinned people live there. So naturally the crime rate is higher than anywhere else.

‘It’s not nice to be a robbery victim. So I suggest that Roman doesn’t walk but drives around that area.’

Perhaps Rebrov thinks life is much more glamorous in his hometown of Horlivka, where the decline of the mining industry has made it more depressing than listening to a Coldplay album while thinking about how much cheaper petrol was five years ago. As if this wasn’t bad enough,

It’s the lady who feels entitled to half of Thierry’s career earnings

Back in 2001, Thierry Henry was filming one of his mildly annoying Renault Clio adverts (”Ey Bobby, what’s ze French for ‘Va Va Voom?’”), when he noticed a model prancing around the set in little more than a man’s shirt and some ladypants. That lovely young thing was 27-year-old Claire Merry, who became Henry’s girlfriend with immediate effect, and two years later became his wife.

As you will undoubtedly know, however, the couple announced their divorce last year, and the latest news is that Claire will be ‘taking him to the cleaners‘ to the sum of £10m for his alleged infidelities with a make-up artist named Sadie Hewlett. Quite how she feels she is entitled to such a huge amount is anyone’s guess, but the Croydon-born beauty is pursuing his funds with the tenacity that Andriy Voronin seeks out awful clothing.