For those who missed the ESPY Awards…

Ask a modern footballer a simple question like “tea or coffee?”, and their reply is always the same: “just get me the most expensive one.” Nine times out of ten, that’ll be the coffee. Yet, by the looks of Cristiano Ronaldo at yesterday’s ESPY Awards in California, when it comes to crutches, you can just give him the nearest set. No diamonds encrusting the handles, no platinum tip - the guy didn’t even bother emblazoning his own name down the side! Begging the question: what the hell has happened to Ronaldo? Has he completely given up on life?

Elsewhere at the awards, Beckham could be found laughing hysterically at a tall lady (after the jump). Look at her, she’s huge! What is she? A basketball player or something?…. oh, apparently she is a basketball player. Called Candace Parker.

It’s less funny now.

Topless posing and shopping put on hold to aid recovery

Cristiano Ronaldo’s ankle operation may put him out of action for up to twelve weeks, but at least he will be joined by girlfriend Nereida Gallardo on the injury table:

Nereida Gallardo, 24, hurt ligaments in her foot tripping in her heels while out shopping in her native Majorca.

The beauty was hoping to nurse the Man United star, 23, who is recovering from surgery on his injured right ankle.

A ligament tear can take between four and twelve weeks to heal, meaning pictures of the happy couple sporting his ‘n’ hers crutches are imminent.

Still, I can’t help thinking this whole unfortunate mess could have been avoided if she had purchased her shoes from a quality retailer like CR7…

Spoiler bonus: See more of Nereida here and let us know if you think she is hot right here