Who?

12 hours later, and it still hasn’t been changed. The article isn’t a complete disaster though, as The Spoiler now knows four of the Palacios family have turned out for the Honduran national team at some point the past - an impressive feat not even the legendary Sodje dynasty has managed to accomplish.

Once more unto the breach…

The above headline may have had you spluttering over your chocolate fingers at breakfast this morning, but that quite frankly, should teach you to buy the Daily Mirror. This site and Stanley Victor Collymore have what could be described as form, and yet again, our intense admiration for Collymore the player, has degenerated into scorn for Stan the pundit.

Let’s take a closer look at today’s thoughts:

The Premier League is considered by many to be the best league in the world but I think drastic reform is needed to keep it at the pinnacle.

In some of the finest Schools of Journalism, they teach that a good way to indicate you are about to waste a few minutes of your reader’s time, is to make the opening sentence nonsensical, thus hinting to the reader to go and do something else. Here Stan delivers, pointing out that the success of the Premier League (which lies in its top-to-bottom competitiveness) could only be maintained by ditching any competition outside of who wins the thing. It’s the equivalent of Terry Leahy advocating Tesco stop pushing the food element so much.

Turning now to the hub of Stan’s argument:

And there would be no promotion or relegation which would allow those teams to grow.

No it would not. After all, with no threat of relegation, why should any chairman or team outside the top three make any effort to win the league, or even to improve? Why should fans care or go anymore? If a team is 10 points clear at the top by November, what interest is there for the rest of the season?

It would make a pleasant change from watching some of the smaller clubs in the Premier League in recent times like Reading, Wigan and Bolton.

Perhaps. So why write in the same column, “So there is very much a place for Stoke City in the top-flight and I have enormous respect for their wily manager Pulis.” Having never won a league or FA Cup, it seems unlikely Stoke would be there as one of the, “biggest and most successful sides in modern history.”

Fans around the world want to see the huge games - not clashes involving clubs like Barnsley, Watford or Hull.

A bit like arguing, that because the Sun is the biggest selling newspaper, people only want to have that one paper in their newsagents. And that we should close down the Mirror. Hang on a sec actually…

The Football League would still function if you are a Wigan or a Notts County or a smaller club.

Well Notts County, as the oldest club in the country, would probably stake a claim to being one of the clubs who have ”contributed the most over the last 100 years.”
In addition, the point is untrue. The only thing that keeps all four divisions going, is the hope for even the smallest teams, that one day, they may mix it with the big boys. Stymie that hope, and there is nothing left. Fact.

There is little precedent in other sports for the system of meritocracy if you look at the NFL.

Ah, the NFL. Well Stan, take a look at the global tv audience for Liverpool vs Manchester United yesterday, and compare that to the American Football at Wembley. The Premier League wins by a distance - so we shall take no lessons from the NFL thanks.

No further questions your honour. And Stan, we’ll still never forget that goal against Atletico Madrid. Even after all this.

Collaborative website merks another victim

Ahead of Manchester City’s UEFA Cup tie with Omonia Nicosia, the first port of call for information on the Cypriot club would have been Wikipedia. Curious fans would have been met with the following nugget of information:

“A small but loyal group of fans are lovingly called “The Zany Ones” - they like to wear hats made from discarded shoes and have a song about a little potato.”

Finding nothing strange or incredibly made-up about the sentence above, Daily Mirror journalist David Anderson plunged it straight into his match preview, which appeared in the online and print versions of the publication.

It turns out that Omonia Nicosia fans tend to wear shoes on their fee, and do not care enough about starchy vegetable to warrant any kind of chorus, and the Wikipedia page has now been updated to reflect the error.

In the future, Mr Anderson would be wise to look elsewhere for his research.

Spoiler bonus: Why not take in a lecture from Professor Wikipedia after the jump…

Liverpool defender wanted revenge for broken leg

Jamie Carragher clearly doesn’t understand the art of releasing a football autobiography. Wayne Rooney was 20 when he released his so at 30, Carragher has left it far too late. He should be on his third or fourth instalment by now.

Secondly, you’re not supposed to reveal anything interesting. The footballer is supposed to bore the reader with stories about their greatest games and the amazing “banter” with teammates. Under no circumstances should you reveal that you didn’t care as much about losing in an England shirt or that you hate the Everton fanbase that you were once a part of.

Carragher obviously thought he hadn’t been controversial enough so in today’s Daily Mirror serialisation he admits that after having his leg broken in a challenge by Lucas Neill, he seriously considered allowing his mates to assault the Australian defender:

… and looks like a Canadian from South Park

… and looks like a Canadian from South Park