Brazilian probably won’t be kissing his badge in Spain any more

Brazilian man-’o-sex Robinho is determined to push Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Barry all the way with a late charge to make his prolonged transfer saga the most irritating of the summer. The winger told Spanish news agency EFE:

“I want to leave. I’ve told the president, the directors and the coach. I want to play in the Premier League. Chelsea have a great squad, a great team and their offer is good for me and for the team.”

Real Madrid have announced that the player is not for sale, but it’s hard to see Chelsea heeding that warning after the Spanish club spent most of the summer ignoring similar proclamations from Manchester United about Ronaldo.

Elsewhere in footballnewsland…

Daniel Agger sets Liverpool up for a fall
Liverpool’s Danish defender Daniel Agger

Except for Torres, who couldn’t be bothered

Liverpool’s December Christmas party was postponed when Stevie G allowed masked intruders to burgle his home and terrify his wife. To make up for the celebration-halting gaff, he pulled out all the stops at the rescheduled event with some thoroughly over-the-top prosthetics.

Having dressing as a parrot last year, Peter Crouch let us a little further into his subconscious bird obsession by dressing as a penguin. Which bird next year, Pete? Falcon? Budgie?

Daniel Agger’s homage to the punk greats such as Good Charlotte showed effort, as did Steve Finnan’s Beetlejuice and Sami Hyypia’s strange

Does the WAG hold the key to the pilfering mystery?

Jack The Ripper, the Zodiac murders, the sandwich that was stolen from the Spoiler’s fridge last week – all unsolved crimes that have dominated the agendas of law enforcement officers the world over.

The latest mystery to plague their thoughts is the Liverpool burglaries – last night Stevie G became the sixth player in eighteen months to have his home ransacked while he was out of the country. His WAG Alex Curran was