Jermain Defoe bags another Big Brother Z-Lister

Portsmouth ‘playa’ Jermain Defoe is continuing his one-man quest to steamroller every faux-chested glamour girl in the capital by secretly dating Big Brother 7 housemate Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace, according to The Daily Mirror:

“Jermain’s a bit of a love machine and is used to having a WAG around. Aisleyne is blonde and busty - she fits the bill perfectly.”

Defoe, who has previously graced Danielle Lloyd and Charlotte Meares with his charming company, was spotted ‘canoodling’ with her over dinner at the Fifty club in Mayfair last week. It’s good to know that Jermain has upheld his mantra of only entering a public building if it is classed as a ‘club’ and if silicone boobs are involved.

Portsmouth love rat inspires more hatred in serial on/off WAG

Danielle Lloyd was paying a visit to London nightspot Funky Buddha last night (Dani in a nightclub on a school night? I know, I’m as surprised as you are) when she ran into a spot of bother with an another ex-rutt partner of Portsmouth playa Jermain Defoe. (Bearing in mind that Defoe has probably slept with the majority of the female patrons in any given London nightclub, it’s impossible to identify the girl at this point.) Apparently, things got fierce and Dani threw a glass of booze in the girl’s face, which led to her forced ejection from the club.

What could have enraged the former reality television racist so much? Did the alcohol soaked lady try to discredit

Premier League Playa of the Year dismisses relationship as a ‘fling’

Poor old Danielle Lloyd. Not only does she have to live her life in the pages of the Daily Star, but her most recent football lover has made her look like a chump in the same paper. Top “player” Jermain Defoe took up the pen to dismiss their relationship as a ‘fling’, despite the fact that not five minutes ago Miss Lloyd was gearing up to move in with him:

“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve been single since Charlotte [Meares].

“So the love rat thing is all a load of rubbish - and it’s doing my head in. Even when I left Tottenham for Portsmouth - and scored a goal on my debut - people weren’t interested in that.

“Everyone thinks I’m this big bad love rat - but I ain’t.

“I just wanna play football. I score goals and am doing stuff on the pitch, but all people want to chat about is my personal life.”

The Portsmouth striker/ Chinawhite resident also set the record straight on numerous scandals involving him and an endless string of ropey models. He claims there is nothing wrong with his behaviour, and he is simply a ‘good Catholic boy’. Who likes to go to nightclubs the night before training. Who likes to sleep with a different woman every night. And who is being driven to the edge of distraction trying to work out how people are finding out about his private life:

“I just don’t know how everything I do is getting found out,” he says, exasperated. I feel you, Jermain.

This is all getting a bit weird now

UPDATE: The girl kissing Miss Lloyd in the pic is not Sarah Giggle (although the picture agency who sold me the pic still insist it is, and I’m reliably informed that she was present). It is in fact be popstar Mantana Manning, who has thus far managed to avoid Defoe’s predatory radar. Apologies to her for any offence caused by being caught up in Defoeworld.

What a life Jermain Defoe lives. Undeterred by a 200-mile round trip to training or displaying a blatant lack of professionalism, the Portsmouth striker, known by most women in the UK as the world’s greatest lover, was out on the tiles in London again last night, this time at Funky Buddha.

As if Defoeworld isn’t great enough, his ex-girlfriend Danielle Lloyd accompanied him to the club, as did Sarah Giggle, the glamour model who he cheated on Dani with, and who sold her steamrollering story to the News of the World last weekend . That’s the two of them kissing in the pic above. That’s right, despite his dirty rutting games, all three of them get along famously.

Portsmouth striker’s classy lass hits the town

Despite moving to the South Coast, Jermain Defoe simply can’t drag himself away from the scene at his favourite Gants Hill nightclub Faces. This is partially because he loves the music and ambiance, but mainly due to the fact that most of the clientele have had sex with him.

Last night, the Portsmouth striker was accompanied by ex-rutt parner Charlotte Meares was in attendance, but she was upstaged by the fashion sensibilities of Defoe’s latest conquest Sarah Giggle. She’s the pretty little thing who thought it appropriate to wear the charming ensemble shirt above in public, let alone to a nightclub.

Sarah, a dancer and glamour model from Essex, boasted in yesterday’s News of the World that Jermain put her away while Danielle Lloyd was having a breast augmentation earlier this year. The couple share a fairytale romance story: they met at a fetish party, he started sending her texts that would make Jim Davidson blush and before she knew it,

Danielle Lloyd’s continuing quest to let her hair down and enjoy herself led her back to London’s Movida nightclub for some cocktails and a good think last night.

And, of course, it wasn’t long before the potential suitors were sniffing around like dogs at a cat show.

It’s all betrayal and fake tans in the world of Waggery

When beset by heartache, it is often best to confide in someone. In reaction to her separation with three-timing serial WAG boffer Jermain Defoe, Danielle Lloyd has done exactly that, by sharing her pain with the readers of The Daily Star:

‘It was my decision to finish it and I am happy to be single again. After the story broke, I just couldn’t trust him. I empathise with Cheryl. It is horrible when you are in love with someone and you find out they have betrayed you.’

By rutting other ladies without a care in the world, Defoe hardly gave you much choice in finishing the relationship, Dani. And yes it is horrible to be betrayed by your lover - just ask Charlotte Meares, the WAG he betrayed to go out with you!

Mr King celebrates the Carling win Essex-style

Despite instilling a strict dietary regime on his Spurs team, Juande Ramos sent his victorious lot off for a calorific tipple following yesterday’s Carling Cup win. Like flies to a closed window, booze-hungry Premier League stars including Jonathan Woodgate, Alan Hutton, Steed Malbranque, Aaron Lennon, Jermaine Jenas and Ledley King were drawn to Faces nightclub in Essex.

How to become a WAG: Lesson Two - Knickers

Forget what you’ve seen in the movies, not all women wear good pants. In fact, slap yourself in the face and come back to Earth - hardly any of them do. There is one special set which looks fantastic, but that’s kept in a platinum safe, and she’ll be damned if they’re worthy of you. Unless, of course, she’s a sexy young WAG. These girls really know their knickers.

The gal we all hate to love loses her WAG status because she was getting ‘too serious’

When Jermain Defoe’s uncontrollable libido pointed in the direction of renowned former-racist Danielle Lloyd, it looked like a match made in heaven: two people who can’t stay out of nightclubs and who love a good casual steamrolling sesh. However, Miss Lloyd became ‘too serious’ for Jermain, and found herself struck off the WAG list once again. In their tiny world of vague emotional attachments and misused sentiments, getting ‘too serious’ didn’t refer to talks of engagement or moving in together, but rather that Dani wanted one of those useless little dogs that Paris ‘waste of blood and organs’ Hilton carries about in her handbag.