Will busk for lodgings…

Pictures of poor Darius Vassell’s eviction from a Turkish hotel room. Any spare rooms/sofas free?

More of these (admittedly rather sad) pictures after the jump…

Striker booted from temporary home after club fails to pay rent

Darius Vassell - last seen being mobbed by 3,000 Turkish football fans after signing for Super Lig team Ankaragucu - has been kicked out of his hotel room after the club failed to keep up with bill payments.

Ankaragucu have been in financial difficulty since a recent takeover, with player wages being paid late and training sessions canceled. It hasn’t helped that, despite his Christ-like reception, Vassell has been typically rubbish in front of goal, netting two goals in seven games.

Talking to Sky Sports News, the striker said:

I have asked the managers did I do something wrong? The hotel manager said ‘no you didn’t do anything wrong’ but they had a meeting today with the club and now I must leave the hotel.

My heart tells me to stay here and play football for the fans but my bags are all packed and I wonder sometimes whether I should go back home. But tomorrow I hope somebody will explain to me what is happening and we can resolve the situation.

I’m not sure [if I will return to England]. It’s difficult. First of all I don’t speak the language so I can’t hear anything that’s happening.

Spoiler Bonus: Relive past memories of Darius with this clip of “insane skill” (it’s not that bicycle kick for England.)

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Manchester City reject Darius Vassell receives a surreal hero’s welcome at new club Ankaragucu - click the link for more amazing photos
[Blue Moon]

Maicon’s agent is expecting Real Madrid to make a move for the right-back
[Goal]

Cristiano Ronaldo is looking forward to playing with Kaka next season
[The Sun]

Sol Campbell is linked with Everton and Aston Villa after leaving Portsmouth
[Daily Telegraph]

Roque Santa Cruz joined Manchester City for the money Mark Hughes fans
[Sporting Life]

What business are Spurs planning to do in the transfer market this summer?
[Interestment]

Man City forward relieved of £23k worth of bling

Darius Vassell may have looked like the belle of the ball in the £15,000 Cartier watch and £8,000 earrings that he wore to Manchester City’s Christmas party on Sunday night, but his grotesque display of wealth left him subject to the wants of nasty criminal types:

The Manchester City forward was “roughed up” as his Cartier watch and jewellery were snatched.

It is understood that Vassell shared a taxi with a woman back to his apartment in Didsbury. He got out to allow the woman to continue her journey and was arguing about the fare when he was attacked.

Frankly, for his failure to adhere to the Premier League Players’ Behaviour Code, Vassell had this attack coming. What kind of self respecting millionaire sportsman argues about a cab fare? And more importantly, how many players let a woman “continue her journey” rather than taking her home and sealing the deal? Come on Darius, what would Robinho have to say about that gentlemanly blunder?

The men who have shouldered the blame this season

On matchday, Premier League football fans need three things to sustain their interest in the beautiful game: an overpriced ticket for a flimsy plastic seat, a weak pint (to be consumed away from the playing surface, Mr Ashley) and a good scapegoat on which to blame the entire team’s shortcomings.

Here’s the top ten players and managers who have been made to bear the brunt of their club’s collective sins in 2008/09 thus far…

Nicklas Bendtner (Arsenal)
The Spoiler’s Arsenal correspondent claims that Bendtner has overtaken Emmanuel Eboue in the Emirates scapegoat stakes, being vilified to such an extent on Saturday that Emmanuel Adebayor received a hero’s reception when he was brought off the bench to offer some firepower.

Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham)
Heurelho Gomes has put in a sturdy challenge in recent weeks but he still has a fair way to go before toppling Jenas, who has been the main subject of clenched fists and growling at White Hart Lane for a few years now.

Florent Malouda (Chelsea)
Apparently being the midfielder who has provided the most assists in the Premier League this season isn’t enough to save you from abuse when you occasionally misplace a pass or have the audacity to have a shot saved.

Luis Boa Morte (West Ham)
Holds the dubious honour of being one of the only players in the world