The final few hours of the window are painfully quiet

James Collins to Aston Villa
The Villans have released a statement claiming they have agreed a fee for the West Ham defender. The fee has yet to be disclosed, but the professional fee-maker-uppers out there have decided it will be around £5m.

David Bentley not going to Manchester City
Despite dedicating most of the morning to the exclusive that we had two weeks ago, Sky Sports News now seem to believe that DB will spend the rest of the season on the bench at White Hart Lane, and not on the bench at Eastlands.

David James not going anywhere either
Jesus this is a boring deadline day so far. David James’ car was at Portsmouth’s training ground in Eastleigh, then it went away, and then it came back again. We’ll stay tuned to SSN to see if Jamo uses his car again today.

Winger does thing he does every day

Normally, it wouldn’t be particularly newsworthy to report that David Bentley has left the Tottenham training ground - presumably he does that everyday at around this time - but Sky Sports News have just shown the winger leaving the Chigwell HQ.

Seen making a getaway in a friend’s old VW Golf (a vehicle that is not befitting of a man of Bentley’s arrogance fame), SSN speculate that Bentley could be on his way to Eastlands to seal a move to Manchester City.

While we don’t doubt the authenticity of this transfer rumour, the occasional England star may now find himself in a near-impossible race against time: the 220-mile journey to Manchester would probably take an inebriated Bentley about half an hour, but with his friend behind the wheel, the journey should take around four hours, traffic permitting.

If DB was hoping to personally seal his move before 5pm, he may be disappointed.

Harry Redknapp’s least favourite human being to move on

It doesn’t look like any of the Big Four will be getting involved in the transfer merry-go-round today, which means most of the attention is likely to be focused around Harry Redknapp’s and his propensity to thrash out deals right up to the deadline.

The first rumour that caught our attention surfaced in the Daily Mirror, who say that Manchester City will offer £10m plus Martin Petrov for the services of drink driving fan David Bentley. With Petrov valued at around £5m, this would see Tottenham recoup all of the cash they splashed on Mr Punchface last year.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Oh how you all doubted us when we said this would happen a few weeks ago…

The stars who have failed to live up to their transfer fees

As the folks who ploughed their cash into the Sega Saturn, Minidiscs and HD-DVDs will testify, sometimes smart investments don’t quite work out. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Joe Thompson has compiled a list of ten Premier League players who have failed to deliver on the financial commitment their respective clubs made to bring them in…

Andriy Shevchenko
(Chelsea, £31m)
When Chelsea signed ‘Sheva’ in 2006 on a four year deal, it was for a club record fee - but this was a record breaking player. He’d won everything with Milan, bagged the Ballon d’Or and had twice been top scorer in Serie A. Since his move to West London, however, he’s managed 20 goals in 83 appearances, and a season shipped out on loan back to his beloved Milan. Did he rediscover his form there? Did he f**k. He’ll be 33 next month as a once-great career slides away. Abramovich’s ultimate vanity signing has been his worst.

Kolo Toure
(Manchester City, £14m)
While part of the 2003/04 title-winning ‘invincibles’, he could have been in the Best Value top ten. One of Wenger’s best buys for £150,000, he was immense. The past couple of seasons though, Toure and Arsenal have struggled with consistency, with the team’s spine being called into question. Unlike Chelsea with Shevchenko, The Citizens have bought a player who has already lost his form.

Zat Knight
(Bolton, £5m)
You’ve got to feel for Bolton fans.

Tottenham star continues to sabotage his career

David Bentley and his delightfully punchable face found themselves in trouble with the law in the early hours of Wednesday morning, as the Tottenham star was charged with drink driving.

After enjoying a concert by Oasis-AC/DC hybrid Jet in super-trendy Shoreditch, Bentley pointed his £98,000 Porsche 911 Turbo in the direction of his Hertfordshire home. Unfortunately, he was 1.5 times the legal drink driving limit, something that became clear when he smashed into a lamp post near his home at 3am.

A police spokesperson has released a statement:

“He has been charged with a drink driving offence and has been released on bail to return on 28 August. A member of the public called just after 3am to report a single vehicle road traffic collision in Judges Hill, Northaw. A man was arrested at the scene and taken to Hatfield Police Station. This morning David Bentley, 24, has been charged with an offence.”

Bentley has issued a short statement in which he calls the event a personal and professional “wake up call”.

He wasn’t exactly flavour of the month before this incident, and now he’s probably fallen behind Aaron Lennon, the kit man and Sandra Redknapp in the pecking order.

Mark Hughes, snap him up!

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Our secret squirrel digs up a transfer exclusive

According to trusted a Spoiler source - someone within the higher echelons of the game who has given us very accurate transfer tips in the past - Manchester City’s next purchase is likely to be David Bentley.

The source says there is a “70 per cent chance” that the deal will go through.

Spoiler truth-o-meter: The 24-year-old winger isn’t exactly Harry Redknapp’s favourite player, and he is definitely on the looking to move away from White Hart Lane, so we wouldn’t be surprised to see him paraded in sky blue in the coming weeks…

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

David Bentley to Manchester City
Obviously impressed by the huge impact he has made at Tottenham, the Citizens are said to be lining up a £12m bid for the punchable winger. The Mirror believe Villa, Everton and Atletico Madrid have also shown an interest in Harry Redknapp’s least favourite human being.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Spurs clearly don’t want him, and no one would offer more cash than City, so perhaps this isn’t as daft as it sounds.

Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Tottenham
Stuttgart have had a £15.5m bid accepted for the unwanted Dutchman, but the Daily Mail believe Spurs are still in the running, even though they want to pay in instalments. Because instalments are better than cash up front, right?

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: It seems that Madrid want to sell Huntelaar to the Germans, but the player himself would rather play in the Premier League. Seeing as £6m of his fee will automatically be paid to former club Ajax,

David Bentley forced to chow down on a knuckle sandwich

Despite having a very punchable face, Tottenham star David Bentley nearly made it 24 years without someone punching him in the face. This all changed over the weekend, however, when someone punched him in the face:

The Spurs midfielder, 24, had been enjoying a meal with Kimberly Mills [WAG link here] and another couple when a man walked up to their table after finishing his own dinner - and took a swing at him.

Stunned Bentley was left reeling in his chair as the attacker ran out of the restaurant.

According to Bentley’s agent Robert Segal, the attack at the swanky Nolita bar in Herts was premeditated, as the assailant had a taxi waiting outside for him.

The Daily Mirror fail to properly describe the attacker in their report, however an exclusive source has issued a description to The Spoiler. With brown hair and a medium build, the man is said to be a football manager in his sixties, who has been trying to sell a player called David Bentley ever since he started a job at a north London club.

If you have seen a man matching this description, do please get in touch.