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Charlotte Jackson makes the Top Six Setanta moments
[Pies]

Why Kaka isn’t the most expensive player of all time
[The Offside]

Why Cristiano Ronaldo is irreplaceable at Manchester Utd
[The Guardian]

Too many dicks on the dance floor: David Bentley shakes it
[Kickette]

Redknapp must convince Daniel Levy that Van Nistelrooy is a good buy
[Goal.com]

Gemma Atkinson hits the beach
[DJ Mick]

The latest transfer news, gossip and damned lies



Thomas Vermaelen to Arsenal
Yesterday reports were circulating that Professor Wenger had splashed £10m on the Ajax defender, something The Daily Mail confirm this morning. Now it’s reportedly just a case of agreeing personal terms.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Scout Tony Adams has said he is ‘not ready to be an Arsenal player’ and is not a transfer target, so on that basis, we can almost certainly say that Vermaelen has become a Gunner.

Ashley Young to Tottenham
David Bentley has never held much influence in the court of Harry Redknapp, and as such will be offered to Aston Villa for Ashley Young, with £8m thrown in

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Cristiano Ronaldo is the Sexiest man Alive, say The Gay Times
[The Sun]

Juninho could return to Middlesbrough
[Goal.com]

A Playboy model helps the German national team train
[Dirty Tackle]

Slovakian midfielder Marek Hamsik is on Arsenal’s radar
[FansFC]

Aston Villa target David Bentley
[Tribal Football]

“Tek a bow, son(s)”

With the 2008/09 campaign finally over, The Spoiler continues to take a look back (part 1 is over here in case you missed it) at the season’s finest goals and our nominations for the ten greatest efforts. Surprisingly, only two strikers make the list…

#10: Fernando Torres - Liverpool 4-0 Blackburn, 11/04/09

Would Liverpool’s season have ended in league glory had Fernando Torres managed to avoid injury? We’ll never know - but surely fans would’ve been treated to more gems like this. Nonchalantly foregoing the traditional practice of actually checking where the net is before hitting the ball, the number 9 scores a spectacular striker’s goal.

The games that have made this season worth watching

Now that Manchester Utd have pretty much put the final nail in the coffin of the 2008/09 Premier League title race, it’s high time that we start peddling out some end of season lists. Accordingly, here is a top ten of the campaign’s most entertaining matches, which somehow includes a game involving West Brom…

#10: West Brom 3 - 2 West Ham, 13th September

Gianfranco Zola must have been wondering what he’d signed himself up for, watching his first West Ham game from the stands before taking over as manager. A game with a neutral-baiting mix of awful defending and open attacking play, both teams managed to lose their lead twice before an 83rd minute West Brom counter attack saw Chris Brunt sprint free of the Hammers’ defence and clinically place one inside the far post.

#9: Fulham 0 - 0 Sunderland, 18th October

Sunderland’s early visit to Craven Cottage should go down as the best goalless game of the season. Fulham’s goalmouth literally took a battering. Kieron Richardson, taking time off from his usual job of lying on a physio’s table somewhere, had his 25-yard free-kick bounce between the posts twice (before having another free-kick goal disallowed) and Djibril Cisse’s rasping long ranger was saved by the crossbar. However, the Cottagers created their own opportunities in the back-and-forth battle, with Zoltan Gera having a shot cleared off the line from Pascal Chimbonda before spurning his team’s best chance with a Carragher-esque air kick.

#8: Fulham 2 - 0 Manchester Utd, 21st March

It’s testament to how crap United were

Spurs striker joins Harry Redknapp in singing winger’s praises

Aaron Lennon has been one of Spurs’ better players this season but that has more to do with the fact his fellow midfielders have either been passing sideways or are called David Bentley than because the winger has excelled.

However, the 21-year-old’s recent run of four goals in six games (having scored just one in the previous 51) has prompted Robbie Keane to join Harry Redknapp in talking up his teammate’s England prospects.

“I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t get back in the England squad. He’s a big player for us and is getting better with age. Since I got back to the club I see a more mature player.”

Lennon’s recent form has been reasonably impressive but The Spoiler feels that

Footballer rewarded for kicking football

David Bentley may be enjoying mixed form at White Hart Lane this season, but Spurs and Arsenal fans will testify that the winger knows how to hit a long range effort.

For some reason, Bentley finds himself on the roof of Red Bull’s London headquarters, when his agent says he can’t put a ball in a skip on the other side of Charing Cross Road. The agent has so little faith in his client’s abilities, that he puts his £15,000 watch on him missing. As the headline suggests, DB earns himself a new piece of bling.

(At a time when people are struggling to pay their mortgages, isn’t it great to know that footballers are still waging huge amounts of money on kicking footballs into skips? God bless the Premier League.)

[Anorak]

The most regrettable transfers in Premier League history

It’s the January window, which means plenty of players are going to trade hands. Some clubs will end up paying far too much money for their new blood (Manchester City have already got the ball rolling on that one), while others will land a player who proves to be a bargain and a regrettable loss for their former employer. A classic example of the latter is Denis Law: Manchester United decided to let their second highest goal scorer of all time leave on a free to rivals City. Law only spent one year at City in his second spell before retiring, but his last goal came in the last game of the 1973-74 season against United. The red side of Manchester needed a win to stay up, but a Law back heel in a 1-0 win confirmed their place in the Second Division for the next season.

With this case study in mind, here’s the Premier League ‘Shouldn’t have let him go XI’…

Brad Friedel (Liverpool to Blackburn, 2000, free)
Friedel only managed 30 starts for Liverpool in three years before he was allowed to move on a free to Blackburn, after failing to displace Sander Westerveld. Since leaving Merseyside, Friedel has been one of the most consistent keepers in the league, while Liverpool have been through Westerveld, Dudek, Chris Kirkland, Pegguy Arphexad and Scott Carson, before settling with current shot stopper Pepe Reina.

Steve Finnan (Fulham to Liverpool, 2003, £3.5m)
Finnan was a key figure in the Cottagers side that won the Second Division and First Division and was a member of the PFA Team of the Year in his first season in the Premiership with them. He managed over 200 appearances for Fulham before moving to Liverpool and winning the League Cup, FA Cup and Champions League in his 5 years on Merseyside.

Jonathan Woodgate (Leeds to Newcastle, 2003, £9m)
In January 2001, Leeds were top of the Premiership. Two years later, they found themselves fighting a relegation battle. Then came the sales of Lee Bowyer, Robbie Fowler and their best defender, Woodgate - unsurprisingly their poor form continued. The following season Woodgate’s value to the team was all too evident when Roque Junior was brought in to fill the gap. Junior looked like he had money on a Leeds relegation as the club conceded 25 goals in the 7 games he played in.

Matthew Upson (Arsenal to Birmingham, 2003, £1m)
Upson only managed 20 league starts in nearly six years at Arsenal before he was sold for half the price they had previously paid for him. He excelled at Birmingam before a £6 million switch to West Ham, where his performances have been rewarded by a call up to the England team. Recent reports have suggested that following the uncertainty of the future of ex-captain William Gallas, Professor Wenger is keen to spend over £10m on bringing him back to Arsenal. If he does rejoin the club, maybe he’d have more luck starting if he changed his name to Mathieu Upsoné.

David Unsworth (Sheffield United to Wigan, 2007, free)
Mr Unsworth wasn’t the biggest success at Wigan - he only managed 10 games for the club. He did, however, manage to score the winning goal with a penalty in Wigan’s last game of the season to keep them in the Premier League. And the side who went down at Wigan’s expense? Sheffield United.