Old Italian gent has failed to live up to his fanfare thus far

Last December, we all thought that England had hired a winner. The mood across the nation stood in stark contrast to the underwhelmed vibe that followed the appointment of a man who guided Middlesbrough to 14th in his final Premier League season. In Fabio Capello, England were getting a manager who had won titles in his last three seasons - two of which have since been revoked - and who had been a champion at every club he had managed. Not only that but he was a disciplinarian too. Someone who would do what was best for the team rather than catering for his stars.

Everything was going to plan at first. Capello was taking the job so seriously that he left David Beckham out of the squad for a friendly against Switzerland, a nothing game where Goldenballs was supposed to win his 100th cap, because he wasn’t fit enough. He dropped Michael Owen from the starting line-up and played previous outcast Matthew Upson in defence.

But gradually warning signs became apparent. Despite having already given David James

Manchester Utd striker’s secret passion for cancer sticks revealed

Despite being an professional sportsman who relies on his fitness to make a living, Wayne Rooney found the time to spark up a coffin nail while staying at the Wynn Casino in the city of sin this week. According to The Sun, the Manchester United striker also joined the pro-footballer smoke club - whose members include Dimitar Berbatov, David James and Zinedine Zidane - during his stag trip to Ibiza.

The biggest concern about this situation isn’t the effect the filthy habit will have on Mr Rooney’s career, but rather his flagrant abuse of smoking etiquette. Honestly, who smokes in a swimming pool? Does he smoke in the shower too? He ought to be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

Three of the Big Four dominate professional footballers’ fantasy team

Unsurprisingly, Cristiano Ronaldo scooped the PFA Player of the Year award last night, even though he did not personally collect the accolade - Alex Ferguson decided attending the dinner, talking to the press and the obligatory prostitute-based celebrations would have had the 23 year old staying up way past his bedtime.

Despite sporting another ridiculous hair sculpture, C-Ron also made the PFA-nominated team of the season, whose only non-Big Four players are David James and Ashley Young. But where are the Chelsea players? Could it be that the rest of the league hates them? Surely not…

PFA Team of the Season

David James (Portsmouth)
Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)
Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd)
Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd)
Gael Clichy (Arsenal)
Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal)
Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd)
Ashley Young (Aston Villa)
Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal)
Fernando Torres (Liverpool)

Portsmouth shot stopper has found mental inner-strength, but won’t tell us how

David James has credited his improved performances on ‘mind exercises’, which he performs on a regular basis:

“I do them in the hotel room before the game, do them on the bus and on the pitch.”

It’s great that the Portsmouth keeper is finding form, but what exactly are these mind exercises? And why is he doing them on the pitch? Shouldn’t he be concentrating on the game?

According to this website, an hour of brain activity a day can make you smarter,

Impact of Liverpool’s Spaniard more profound than originally thought

In response to this week’s poll of 2,500 women by that website which bought Ebbsfleet, and which determined that Wayne Rooney is the ugliest player in the world, we asked our users to take a deep breath and explore their feelings about players at the other end of the scale. Results show that Fernando Torres is the player most men would sleep with “if they had to go with a Premier League player.”

Torres was by far and away the winner with 35 per cent of the total vote. One respondent said “He’s more attractive than my last girlfriend,” and another “I’d probably go with him even if I didn’t have to.”

Second place went to Spurs’ Jermain