Also appearing on a computer near you…

We’re not sure who Xabi Alonson is, but The Mirror seem to think he is in demand
[ONTD]

Six Premiership stars have been tested for HIV after knocking boots with an infected WAG
[Pies]

Manchester City may be interested in David Trezeguet
[Goal.com]

Federico Macheda isn’t having a good week
[Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea WAG Keeley Hazell poses for our Australian friends
[On205th]

Zlatan Ibrahimovic denies Manchester Utd link
[Sky Sports]

Totally random: We had no idea Christopher Walken was so popular in Aisa
[Warming Glow]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

We’ve managed to sift through the hi-larious APril Fools’ Day stories (some of which are extremely unsubtle) to bring you the very latest transfer speculation…

Samuel Eto’o not going to Liverpool
There have been plenty of whispers in Liverpool of a big money move for Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o, but according to Spanish paper Sport, the Premier League club cannot afford him. Goal.com concur that his excessive personal demands are the reason for the shortfall: when he was told he could leave the Spanish giants last year, most clubs cowered at his €9m-a-year contract request.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Sport say Eto’o has will expect at least €7.5m a year from the Reds, some €2m more than Torres receives. Inter are also interested in his signature, but Barca president Joan Laporta insists the striker would like to stay.

Gabriel Heinze to Tottenham
The Telegraph report that Harry Redknapp is ready to offer the Real Madrid defender a return

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Here’s the latest updates from Transferland…

David Trezeguet to Chelsea
According to Italian newspaper Tuttosport, Chelsea are all set to line up a formal bid for slightly past-it Juventus striker David Trezeguet. It’s suggested that The Old Lady want more than Chelsea’s offer of €8m for the old man, but are willing to negotiate.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The Frenchman was linked to Manchester City in January, and it seems clear that a summer move to the Premiership is on the cards.

Cesc Fabregas denies rumours of returning to Spain
Speaking to Spanish paper El Mundo, the Spaniard has admitted he has spoken with disgraced former Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon on the phone, but insists he “never gave him his word that he was going to sign for Real Madrid.” Fabregas added: “He asked about my progress and that was it.”

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Rumours have been circulating for a few weeks that Barcelona will launch a huge bid to bring the midfielder back to the club, and Madrid are clearly interested, but Fabregas has pledged his love

Manager doesn’t seem to know what’s going on

Manchester City are linked to at least 4,000 players a day, so it is understandable that manager Mark Hughes has lost track of transfer dealings. Or perhaps he is being given little say over who comes and goes - when asked about the prospective purchase of a Newcastle goalkeeper, Hughes pleaded ignorance to the situation:

“No, I don’t think there has been an offer for Shay Given”

You don’t think there’s been an offer, Mark? Shouldn’t you be the one to know that?

Sparky gave further evidence of being kept out of the loop when questioned about slightly-past-it French striker David Trezeguet:

While Caliendo has ruled out a move to Eastlands, City boss Mark Hughes has claimed that he has no knowledge of any interest in the striker from his club.

“It’s news to me,” he said.

Either Hughes is being extremely coy about City’s movements in the transfer market, or the board and owners are keeping their cards far too close to their chests…

French beauty could be on her way to Eastlands

If today’s rumours are believed, Manchester City are about to make an £18m move for Juventus striker David Trezeguet. If the old lady find themselves unable to resist the Arabian cash, the Premier League will grow richer for the addition of Beatrice Trezeguet to the hot WAG roster.