Hint: they’re not happy

Obviously, the English press are delighted with last night’s victory in Berlin, but it’s good to know that the German media is just as negative and over-the-top when it comes to embarrassing international defeats.

Bild, Germany’s biggest daily and the equivalent of The Sun, is lamenting the German “B” eleven’s loss to the England “C” Eleven. Somehow, they conclude that a German side without Michael Ballack and Philipp Lahm constitutes a reserve side, and the Three Lions have been downgraded to a “C” for no particular reason.

The Germans have always boasted of their team’s overall strength, rather than the outstanding contributions of any particular player, so it’s interesting to see them blame the loss on Ballack and Lahm’s absence.

Bild believe Die Mannschaft are failing to recover from the power struggle that saw coach Jogi Loew and Michael Ballack fall out, and are calling the defeat the worst since they crashed out 3-0 to the Czech Republic in 2007.

La Liga champions knocked out of cup by minnows

Last night, Real Madrid beat Segunda División B Basque minnows Real Unión 4-3 at the Bernabéu, but crashed out of the Cope del Rey on away goals after losing the first leg 3-2. It represents the first time Los Blancos - who fielded many first team stars including Raul and Wesley Sneijder - have been knocked out of the cup by a third-tier side at home.

The Spanish press are claiming the defeat is the most shameful in Real Madrid’s long and illustrious history, and a poll on Marca’s website (which is a Madrid-based sport newspaper) shows that over 75 per cent of fans believe it is the biggest embarrassment the club has ever faced.

This is the type of defeat that would normally see a La Liga manager lose his job, and Bernd Schuster appears to be feeling the heat. After the game, he defended himself: “I’m not worried about my job, but it is understandable that others have doubts about my work.”

If Madrid do decide to appoint a new gaffer, they will undoubtedly pick one of the biggest names in the game, and probably someone who is currently employed elsewhere. Could Mr Benitez be heading back to his home city? Or maybe Mr Ferguson - we hear he is very popular in the Spanish capital…