Also appearing on a computer near you…

Rio Ferdinand and Wes Brown get candid

Robbie Keane starts the conspiracy theories rolling
[The Sun]

… And the Irish justice minister demands … justice
[Telegraph]

Player gets carded for farting in ref’s face
[Mirror]

Fan fined £120k for Sweden/Denmark pitch invasion
[The Sun]

Atletico Madrid are on the brink of accepting £40m for Aguero
[Guardian]

Yuri Zhirkov’s knees are struggling with the UK weather
[Daily Star]

Arsenal striker scores with baroness 13 years his senior…

Things just keep getting better for Nicklas Bendtner. A week after the Arsenal striker was chosen as the Danish Player of the Year, newspaper reports claim he’s found himself a new girlfriend. One with £400m and a castle.

34-year-old Baroness Caroline Luel-Brockdorff is a member of the Danish royal family who recently ended up quids in after a big money divorce settlement from the cousin of James Bond creator, Ian Fleming.

The couple met when she appeared in an episode of what we assume is the Danish equivalent of Changing Rooms (except she was doing up the family castle rather than a two bed semi in Warrington), in which Bentdner was guest-starring. At the time, she was quoted as saying:

He is charming and bright and he’s very willing to help other people. You never know when our paths will cross again.

Since then their paths, and probably a couple of other things, have indeed crossed, with the Danish high-society set heralding the relationship as a ‘fairytale romance’.

Now seemingly set for life with a sugar mommy, perhaps Nicklas will pack in the football career to focus his energies on the finer things in life, like falling out of clubs with his pants round his ankles, and driving into trees.

Coming to a computer near you…

Bouncing Baby Berba born
( novinite )

Have you seen the head of Fergus Fox?
( offthepost )

“You lot take it up the arse!” No, not you lot. This lot of journalists who were roundly abused by Maradona after Argentina’s victory last night

If you’re planning a week’s annual leave, you may just about have time to read theGuardian’s monster piece about the Danish national side of the 1980s

Has England’s goalkeeping situation ever been more bleak?
( Footy Factor )

And gather the family round for Issue 3 of Rio’s mag - its a music special kids
( 5 Magazine )

Is this the world’s unluckiest player?

Jonathan Richter, of Danish Superliga side FC Nordsjælland, was playing in a reserve match against second tier side Hvidovre in July when he was struck by lightning. The 24-year-old midfielder collapsed and was rushed to hospital, where he remained in a coma for ten days. The incident was so shocking that other players on the pitch were offered counselling.

In order to help Richter’s body to recover from the electric shock, last week doctors made the decision to amputate the lower part of his left leg. His family have posted a statement on the club’s official website saying that this procedure has significantly improved his well-being.

The Spoiler wouldn’t wish this kind of incident on anyone, but we couldn’t help but be tickled an update on his Wikipedia entry:

Even though it has not officially been confirmed, experts believe Richter’s career in football could be over.

Excellent work, experts. Who knows where we would be without your clinical assessment of this situation.

Spoiler promotion: Play Fantasy Football and win Champions League Final tickets!

Stale Solbakken talks trash prior to UEFA Cup game

In an interview with Danish newspaper Ekstra-Bladet, FC Copenhagen manager Stale Solbakken has made his thoughts about Manchester City’s millions very clear. The Norwegian, whose side welcome the Citizens in the UEFA Cup on Thursday, believes their money and nine figure transfer offers are “destroying” the beautiful game:

“The amounts of money that have been mentioned are incredible.

“I think that such incredible sums will take part in destroying football. They are creating too big a mental distance between what we call reality and then Manchester City.

“The hardest part for City is that they, by tradition, are not a big club and therefore all the money in the world does not make a difference. They brought in Bridge even though he is only marginally better than what they had already, and that says how hard it is to get the best players.”

Much like the rest of the world, Solbakken is clearly poking fun at Manchester City’s embarrassing

The rudest WAG in the Premier League. Probably.

Thomas Gravesen may be powerless to help Everton reach the hallowed top four this season, but at least the on-loan midfielder gets to come home to the loving embrace of girlfriend Kira Eggers. If you recognise the thirty-three year old WAG then shame on you - she is Denmark’s most famous hardcore porn star. (Do a Google Image Search of her name and you’ll find the kind of stuff that would make even Jermain Defoe blush.)