Small website beats big newspaper to story…

Like an excellent doctor with a great bedside manner, The Spoiler spotted that Tottenham might be going through some food-based issues about a week or so ago. In an understated fashion, we suggested that by starving his players, Ramos mightn’t be ensuring top notch performances. And then, just this weekend, The Sun barged into the room like a fat man lugging the head of Osama Bin Laden, and declared that Ramos needs to think about feeding his players because THEY ARE STARVING.

Of course, they’ll get all the back-slaps, the prizes, the women, while The Spoiler continues to toil away in silence, never once poking a head above the grindstone to demand recognition for a fantastic piece of work. Not even once.

Damn society and its silly rules.

Beijing officials insist all food must be sourced within China

Olympic athletes frequently have highly specialist dietary requirements, and thus were expecting to bring their body fuel with them to Beijing in three months time. Olympic officials, however, wish for visitors to fully embrace Chinese culture, and will do so by eating their steroid-filled meat and insecticide-laden veg.

The food ban has hit no one harder than the Australians, who were looking forward to coating every meal in Vegemite (a vulgar concoction similar to Marmite). Between sips of lager, Aussie Olympic team