The most inspired transfer activity of the season

As The Spoiler’s end of season festivities get into full swing, today we look at the best signings of the 2008/09 Premier League campaign. Sorry Wisey, Xisco and Coloccini didn’t make the cut…

Jose Bosingwa (Porto to Chelsea, £16.3m)
Whether Jose Bosingwa (or ‘Boswinga’ if you’re Jamie Redknapp) was officially a Big Phil Scolari signing is a point of contention, but considering the four other members of his inspirational clutch of signings have only racked up 22 starts and three goals between them, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. However, what can’t be argued against is how seamlessly the full back has slotted into Chelsea’s defence this season, in a role the Blues have previously struggled to fill.

James Beattie (Sheffield Utd to Stoke, £2.5m)
It was fair to assume Beattie’s Premier League days were numbered after a pretty woeful spell at Everton earned him a move down to the Championship with Sheffield United last season. Yet after answering Stoke’s SOS call in the January transfer window, Beatts has signaled his return to the top flight by averaging nearly a goal every other game and contributing to 13 of the 24 points Stoke have picked up since his arrival. Such season-saving form might just be the best £2.5m Tony Pulis has ever spent.

Marouane Fellaini (Standard Liege to Everton, £15m)
Fellaini’s Premier League success isn’t too surprising considering the fact that 32 foreign scouts were in the crowd to watch him play in Liege’s title-winning league match last season. Still, the lanky afro cultivator was pretty much unknown to fans over here until making his mark as the driving force behind a Liege team that by all rights should’ve beaten Liverpool to Champions League qualification at the start of the season. Clocking in with an impressive nine goals and firmly establishing himself as a midfield battler, that £15m price tag everyone laughed at now looks a bit less ridiculous.

Wilson Palacios (Wigan to Tottenham, £12m)
Harry Redknapp’s transfer market dial

Don’t let the man bottom in the video grab put you off

Nives Celzijus is the Playboy model who done it with her husband Dino Drpić in the middle of the pitch, and apparently she is some kind of popstar in Croatia. Here’s what we learn from this video:

1. Europop rocks, ja!
2. Continental Europeans are more than happy to see simulated sex acts in mainstream music videos.
3. If you are ever in a Croatian hotel and two policemen arrive at your door, they will probably want to engage in overt homoerotic acts, go swimming, or both.

Spoiler bonus: More Nives here

Playboy model who enjoys a spot of love making on the pitch

Defender Dino Drpić has spent his entire career at Dinamo Zagreb, and is generally well-loved. His ability to focus on the pitch however, has been affected by arguments with team mates, scuffles with police men and a gambling addiction that he deems “incurable.”

One of his biggest distractions, though, is his wife Nives Celzijus, a Playboy model whose penchant for ill-fitting bikini tops is only matched by her penchant for outdoor boffing.

The 27-year-old is currently promoting her book Gola Istina (’The Naked Truth’), where she admits she had relations with Drpić on the pitch at the Maksimir Stadium - the same place England lost their vital Euro 2008 qualifier with Croatia:

“Dino had arranged that people should turn on the stadium lights for us and he finally fulfilled his dream of having sex in the middle of a football pitch. It was very naughty.”

Redknapp’s plans to play the reserves might need altering

While all four still stand a strong chance of progressing, the Premier League’s UEFA Cup hopefuls Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Tottenham and Manchester City all drew interesting group stage opposition.

Harry Redknapp spoke about fielding reserves in some games but may rethink that policy when they clash with overwhelming tournament favourites AC Milan while Aston Villa will be challenged by Martin Jol’s Bundesliga table-toppers Hamburg and Marco van Basten’s Ajax.

Tottenham drew two teams whose star players they raided this summer - Luka Modric’s former side Dinamo Zagreb and Roman Pavlyuchenko’s old club Spartak Moscow while Manchester City will face off against Steve McClaren’s FC Twente in one of the toughest groups.

The good news for the Premier League representatives were that all four avoided Sevilla, Valencia and Standard Liege, who are three of the top four non-English clubs in the betting. The full draw is after the jump.