FC Groningen boss directs schoolboy insult at official

If Joe Kinnear is looking for a more subtle way to attack referees than calling them “mickey mouse” in front of the entire world, then he can learn a lot from FC Groningen gaffer Ron Jans. The “give the middle finger and then pretend to stretch” routine never fails to get results.

[Video: 101GG]

The Spoiler’s guide to saying naughty things in foreign

Reportedly, Jose Mourinho would swear at referees in Portuguese so he could deny his aggravated language if questioned (”Honestly, ‘Lambe-me os colhes’ means ‘I agree with your informed choice’”). Javier Mascherano, on the other hand, chose an English four letter word to express his dismay, instead of reverting to his native tongue. This makes the Special One ‘smart’, and the Argentinean one ‘stupid’.

The Premier League’s vast array of imports would do well to take a leaf from Mourinho’s book of sly cussing, so here’s our top ten booking-free-guaranteed foreign insults. Let’s kick it off with one that could have helped Javier safely vent his spleen on Sunday:

Argentinean
Tarado - Retard

Norweigian
G’ og sug en hest - Go suck a horse!

Portuguese
Cabe’a-de-Bagre - Catfish head

Spanish
Cago en tu leche - I sh*t in your milk

Ian Wright unveils controversial plan to stamp out lippy outbursts

In a week that saw tantrums from Cashley Cole and Javier Mascherano, esteemed Sun journalist Ian Wright has revealed a ridiculous intriguing plan to bring some respect back into the game. Wrighty believes teams should have points deducted at specific points in the season, based upon the amount of dissent players have shown. He also wants to ban any type of swearing towards match officials (I thought that was already banned?), employ lip readers to study match footage after games (an idea he probably discovered when leafing through Zoo Magazine) and impose a rule that will see only team captains talking to the referee.

Is it just me or is this idea a little bit daft? Perhaps a better solution would be to introduce a straight red card for dissent, with video evidence and lip reading being employed to influence the length of the ban. What do you think? Get voting!