Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen kisses girls, does other rude stuff

With a contract at one of the biggest football clubs in the world and a girlfriend who has won the Dutch FHM Sexiest Woman in the World award twice, it’s no exaggeration to say Wesley Sneijder is the greatest man alive.

His unpronounceable ladyfriend Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen not only has fabulous good looks and eight sisters (!), but she is also willing to commit some extremely sexy/bizarre acts to film. Look here! She’s licking cream off of a friend’s bottom in a car park! Look above! She’s kissing a lady! And look below! She’s helping old people cross the street in her underwear for absolutely no reason!

Plenty more NSFW-ish Yolanthe videos after the jump…

Did Slovakia’s finest sportslady enjoy a tryst with a Madrid star?

Up until January, Real Madrid’s Wesley Sneijder was married to lovely Dutch lady Ramona Streekstra. The dissolution of their relationship and Sneijder’s subsequent €6m divorce payout may have had something to do with strong rumours that the attacking midfielder was seeing Slovakian tennis star Daniela Hantuchová.

Sneijder denied any such rumours (and has since started a relationship with model Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen), but any excuse to draw attention to Miss Hantuchová’s bikini wearing abilities cannot be passed up.

Dutchman throws some manly poses with his WAG

In the French version of this week’s Sport magazine (the freebie that is thrust in your face whenever disembarking from public transport on a Friday morning), former Middlesbrough, Chelsea and Liverpool star Boudewijn Zenden has proudly shown off his rock-hard abs, boyband wardrobe and model wife Clio Pajczer. Why? Because he can, that’s why.

In the interview, 32-year-old Zenden, now playing with Marseille, boasts of the ‘insane love’ he shares with his partner, and how they are the couple bringing the glamour to Ligue 1.

See more steamy pictures after the jump…

FC Twente boss continues to embarrass himself in the Eredivisie

Steve McClaren’s post match interview checklist:

• Foreign managers in the Premier league are successful, so try to emulate their mannerisms and command of English
• Put an upward inflection and pause at the end of every sentence to make it sound as unnatural as possible
• Speak unnecessarily slowly - this disguises the ghastly northern accent and ensures the interviewer is suitably patronised
• Use lots of tired clichés like “we killed the game by scoring more goals” and “anything can happen in football”
• Learn nothing from criticism of new speech pattern

Spoiler bonus: Check out Schteve’s Braveheart impression from earlier this week

[Spotted on Off The Post]

Proof that the first time wasn’t a misguided one-off

“It’s just the way it is here. It’s so [that] Dutch people can understand”

Schteve McClaren justifies his ridiculous interview accent

FC Twente/ Arsenal, Setanta Sports 1, tonight, 7.45pm

This is the moment Steve McClaren has been waiting for. It’s his chance to show the world that it’s not his fault that England are a bit poo, and what better way to do that than by beating the mighty Arsenal with an unfancied Dutch team who appear to accept garden furniture in lieu of a subs bench. Winning over two legs might be too much to ask, but he stands every chance of winning the first bout…

The five reasons why FC Twente will triumph in the UCL 3rd qualifying round first leg

1. Arsenal have a poor record against Dutch opposition in the Champions League, winning just three of their last ten.

2. The last time Arsenal were eliminated from the Champions League by a foreign side, it was by the Dutch - PSV in 2006/07. On that occasion, the windmill lovers won the home leg 1-0 and drew 1-1 at the Emirates in the return.

3. McClaren boasts an impressive European club record, with 13 wins

Attraction to all things orange leads supporters into trouble

Up until Holland’s impromptu exit from Euro 2008 at the weekend, Switzerland’s National Railway had told its workers to stop wearing orange reflective jackets. According to Reuters, Dutch fans, presumably high and transfixed on their army of good looking supporters (see above), are inexplicably attracted to anyone or anything sporting their national colour:

Switzerland’s national railway has told its workers to stop using their normal orange reflective vests after confused Dutch soccer fans started following them on to the tracks.

A railway spokesman said the changed strip had been prompted by an incident in the Swiss capital Berne when a group of Netherlands supporters followed a worker on to the lines after mistaking his uniform for their traditional orange dress.

As a solution to this problem, the railway folk have been donning vests lent to them by the Police instead. The colour? Bright yellow. Let’s hope there’s no more Swedes knocking about in the neutral country…

[Reuters via WithLeather]