Manchester Utd/ Liverpool (Sky Sports 1, 1.30pm); Chelsea/ Arsenal (Sky Sports 1, 4pm)

In our daily search for enlightenment, About.com: Christianity informs us “The next time Easter will fall on March 23 in Western Christianity is 2160, 152 years from now. It’s doubtful any Western Christians will still be around to celebrate Easter again on March 23.” So, no more Christianity then. Hmm. Wonder how they know that?

The top four sides in the Premier League meet this Easter Sunday to hasten this process of decline in Britain’s number one religion, with their message of petulance and shirt-tugging completely at odds with the church’s seasonal call to binge on chocolate and kill lambs.

As for ever rising from the dead again, Liverpool’s faith in this variety of miracle has been tested to the point at which they just don’t know