One in Seven fans won’t be renewing their season tickets

We’re all a bit hard pressed these days - each time we turn the ignition keys we face spending the equivalent of the GDP of a small African nation, and a loaf of bread now costs the same as a two bed semi in Bradford. While the Premier League’s finest are rubbing our noses in it by spending like it’s going out of fashion, it appears that the clubs themselves are about to become the latest victims of the nationwide belt tightening. According to Scott Mowbray of Virgin Money, nearly one in seven fans are refusing to renew their season tickets this year.

The worst affected club are West Ham, as 25 per cent of their faithful will now spend Saturday afternoons standing around in Jane Norman at Lakeside while the missus tries on dresses she won’t buy. This defection may be due to the fact that certain factions of Hammers fans are dissatisfied with Curbs and his boring brand of football, or it could be that the average ticket price is around £780