Also appearing on a computer near you…

During his late nineties druggy haze, Noel Gallagher leads the Manchester G-Mex Arena to an anti-United chorus
[Liverpool Offside]

Cameroonian singer Nguéa Laroute has written a catchy song about Sameul Eto’o.
[Marca]

Maria Sharapova looks fierce at a fashion show
[Polite Applause]

Ince remains tight-lipped about a move to Newcastle
[Football 365]

Porsche build a Cayenne for the Stuttgart fire department
[Grid Crasher]

Will Arsenal be getting a very special Christmas present?
[Caught Offside]

Ahead of the Italian GP, Lewis Hamilton takes a poke at his Ferrari rival
[Bild]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Such a shame. That petrol station had just one day left until retirement…
[Grid Crasher]

Ronaldinho says he is going to the Olympics, with or without permission
[The Offside]

Portsmouth 5/1 to win Community Shield in 90 minutes
[chickendinner]

Top Six: photos of Sepp Blatter looking like a total dick
[Pies]

Jennifer Mueller is reinvigorating our interest in track and field events
[Deadspin]

Eduardo is healing nicely on the beach
[Kickette]

Arsenal’s feelings trampled by provincial poetry

Aston Villa fans amused themselves at the Emirates on Saturday by performing some songs on the subject of Eduardo’s almost losing his foot the previous week. Our Arsenal witnesses claimed they were unable to decipher the precise lyrical content at the time, but just the mention of Eduardo’s name by Villa’s minstrels was enough to earn the visitors a shower of currency.

Amongst the chants were, to the tune of What’s That Coming Over The Hill?;

Unlucky player attacked by fire ants

This week, the media has been very solemn bout the Eduardo/ Taylor collision, so it’s time to remind ourselves that football injuries can also be entertaining for all the family.

The unlucky chap above is Marcos Paulo of Brazilian side Santacruzense, who went in for a challenge and rose to find fire ants all over his body (and yes, they earn their name because their sting feels like fire).

He ran to a puddle to wash it off, then took off his shirt (and nearly received a booking), and finally runs to the dressing room for a shower. He said:

“I felt my body numb. I thought I was having a stroke or something when I realized my shirt was full of ants.”

Paulo got rid of the ants and returned