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The Spoiler has no idea what is going on here, but Francesco Totti’s mullet is nice

How have Capello’s England done against the world’s best so far?
[Guardian]

Fans of being laughed at should get John O’Shea’s new signature boots
[Off the Post]

Eduardo is tired of collecting splinters on the bench
[Caught Offside]

Remember Freddy Adu? Of course you do. Next, we want to know where Cherno Samba, Tonton Zola Moukoko, Andri Sigporsson and all the other Championship Manager faux-legends ended up
[BBC Sport]

Kaka wants Beckham at WC2010. So he can run rings around him in a quarter-final
[The Sun]

Ben Foster refuses to accept his own rank mediocrity
[Telegraph]

van Persie, Fabregas and Arshavin > Henry, Pires and Bergkamp?

After Arsenal’s 4-1 Champions League cakewalk against the Eredivisie champions last night, Arsene Wenger was moved to compare his young team to the unbeaten Gunners squad of 03/04:

We’ve never had as many options on the creative side. We still have Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott who are offensive players who are not available.

Denilson, Eduardo, Tomas Rosicky did not start - that is why I was amazed when people said, ‘Buy, buy, buy’. And Carlos Vela as well… I forgot him!

Fair assessment, or another one of Le Prof’s attempts to tack an extra psychological boost onto an impressive performance? Ljungberg, Henry, Pires and Bergkamp had racked up 16 goals and 10 assists in all competitions by this time in 03/04 season; while van Persie, Arshavin, Bendtner and Fabregas are already on 24 goals and 23 assists.

In terms of depth, Wenger has a point - as backups go, Eduardo, Rosicky and Nasri are a more desirable trio of reinforcements than Reyes, Wiltord and Kanu were. But does the overall attacking quality of the squad match up?

Like it really matters

Robbie Keane knows a thing or two about the bench, having of course parked himself on one at Liverpool for six months. So when he talks about them, thespoiler listens.

Having realised trying to claim Spurs have a better team, manager, ground, history or support than Arsenal was ludicrous, Robbie decided to attack the Gunners where it hurts - the all-important sub selection. Keane told the London Evening Standard:

“You look at the two squads and we’re definitely on a par. It will be judged at the end of the season but if you look at the bench we have, it is probably a little bit stronger than their bench.”

Indeed, the North London derby this Saturday should provide a perfect opportunity for Keane to test his theory, when with ten minutes left, and three goals ahead, Wenger turns to his bench to rest key players ahead of the midweek fixture.

But is Keano right? Here are the two benches for the most recent league games:

Tottenham’s bench v Stoke: Michael Dawson, Jermaine Jenas, Roman Pavlyuchenko, Alan Hutton, Carlo Cudicini, Gareth Bale, Kyle Naughton
Arsenal’s bench v West Ham: Nicklas Bendtner, Eduardo, Manuel Almunia, Mikael Silvestre, Samir Nasri, Aaron Ramsey, Kieran Gibbs

Vote now:

Some expert advice for the weekend’s activities from Sporting Index

In case you hadn’t noticed, all the cool kids are making their ritual viewing of Soccer Saturday a little more interesting with the help of spread betting. Our friends at Sporting Index are the go-to-guys for this money making art, and they have kindly provided previews of two of this weekend’s big clashes…

Stoke/ Manchester Utd
The Red Devils follow their derby triumph with a trip to the Britannia Stadium, where the Potters lost just four games last season. The comparisons drawn between Stoke’s home and Burnley’s Turf Moor are extremely welcome to sellers of United’s win index spread, as the Clarets, of course, defeated United there earlier in the season. Spread punters who followed the progress of Tony Pulis’s first top-flight season will remember, however, that United were one of the several clubs to leave the Britannia with three points, thanks only to a late Carlos Tevez goal. Chelsea are the only other member of the Big Four to play there so far this season and also required a last gasp winner. Buyers of the time of the last match goal will hope for a similar spread make-up on Saturday.

Fulham/ Arsenal
Due to their demolition jobs on Everton, Portsmouth and Wigan

English clubs keep 100 per cent record after first round

Liverpool 1/ Debreceni 0
After going through the process of finding out who the hell their opponents were, Liverpool fans were generally pleased with last night’s performance. Handsome Dutchman Dirk Kuyt made the difference, but there probably should have been a few more goals.

Standard Liege 2/ Arsenal 3
After five minutes it looked as if The Gunners were going to get hammered in Belgium, but they overcame the two-goal deficit in spectacular style thanks to Nicky Bendtner, Thomas Vermaelen and definitely-not-a-cheater Eduardo.

Spoiler bonus: Inter Milan’s clash with Barcelona promised to be a thrilling affair, but that promise was ultimately broken. Check out highlights of the deadlock after the jump…

The governing body’s U-turn could encourage more simulation 

Following an appeal by Arsenal, UEFA have back-tracked on their controversial Eduardo ruling, deciding there was not enough evidence to prove simulation. The Arsenal forward - who has insisted he felt contact from extraordinarily aggressive Celtic keeper Artur Boruc on his left foot and “lost balance” - is now free to face Standard Liege in the Champions league tomorrow night.

Some have argued that UEFA caved in because of the far-reaching implications of the ban: Professor Wenger would have lovingly compiled evidence of every single other perceived dive in European competitions, and would have called for similar bans for the rest of eternity. A dangerous precedent for a crime that isn’t always clear cut.

UEFA’s attempt to contain the situation, however, may actually have had the opposite effect. Not only have they undermined their own authority by favouring Arsenal’s appeal, but they have effectively given professional players carte blanche to throw themselves around without concern for punishment. The Telegraph’s Henry Winter makes a point to this effect on Twitter:

Starting tonight, players know they can dive because refs will be too scared to punish them following UEFA’s crazy U-turn on Eduardo.

Where UEFA right to turn over the ban, or have they, as we suspect, opened a big ol’ can of worms. Let us know your thoughts below…

Pick your favourite player who wears the revered squad number

Calendar enthusiasts will be aware that today is 09/09/09, which is easily the most significant day in the Gregorian system since 07/08/09. In celebration of this tremendous occasion, we’re asking you to pick the best current number nine in the Premier League.

It’s a fairly mixed bunch - which sees no representatives from nine-haters Fulham and Everton - and we suspect one of two names will dominate…

Spurs boss tackles the issue of simulation

We usually like the cut of Harry Redknapp’s jib, but his latest column in The Sun makes the following point concerning the oft-debated Eduardo dive:

“Only Eduardo knows if he dived against Celtic last week.”

As much as we admire Harry’s attempt to save the graces of a fellow professional (albeit one form a rival club), it’s just not true. Arsene Wenger knows whether he dived, UEFA know whether he dived, and absolutely everyone who has seen the incident also knows whether Eduardo dived.

Despite the fact that the entire crux of the article is a campaign to introduce video replay technology, the Tottenham boss also asserts that diving isn’t as big a problem as the media are currently making it out to be:

“I believe diving is rare. I also believe no player ever takes to the pitch with instructions from his manager to dive if it makes the difference between winning or losing.”

Is Harry right, or is there a startling sense of naivety to his words? Let us know your thoughts below…