Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Inter have allegedly decided how much they wish to spend on Frank Lampard, but the newspapers have invented three different prices ranging from £8-11 million, while the Daily Star claim there has been no offer at all.

Despite all the signs to the contrary, however, Big Phil Scolari has claimed there is no chance of Lamps reuniting with his former lover Jose Mourinho this season.

Alexander Hleb to Barcelona
Hleb has confirmed he wants to leave because his style of play (brilliant one minute, woeful the next) doesn’t match Arsene Wenger’s. He also decided to take a dig at Cesc Fabregas, who wanted him to stay, by calling him selfish.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: He will leave, with Barca his preferred destination

Didier Drogba to stay
The Blues are begging someone to pay the reasonable enough sum of £24 million (just £200,000 more than they paid) for the Ivory Coast striker but nobody is willing to show him some love.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Milan may renew their interest

Tottenham Reserves to Blackburn
Juande Ramos is so desperate

Czechs crash out due to keeper’s temporary rubbishness

Thoroughly dependable shot stopper Petr Cech momentarily experienced a condition known as ‘Paul Robinson-itis’ last night, as he gifted Turkey a victory and a place in the quarter-finals.

The Chelsea keeper was man enough to take full blame for the defeat, and Chelsea Pies are even suggesting the blunder was a good thing, as scouts from the likes of Inter Milan will have been scared off.

Cech’s mistake wasn’t the only example of ‘interesting’ goalkeeping this weekend - did anyone notice Edwin van der Saar’s volleyball-style wrist punch thing he did on Friday night?