Blackburn star makes up bizarre excuse for bad behaviour

Blackburn’s El Hadji Diouf gave the world yet another example of his sparkling personality at the weekend, when he was overheard by home fans at Goodison Park shouting “F**k off white boy” at an errant ball-boy.

Keen to stress that he would never impart offensive comments at a stranger, the Senegalese star has vehemently denied the incident:

“I didn’t even speak to him. I just told the assistant ref that the ball-boy should respect the players.

“For a kid to say things like that is unacceptable.

How did anyone get out of this alive?

After suffering a very nasty car accident on Tuesday night, Atletico Madrid defender Mariano Pernía is lucky to be alive. The Spanish international was driving through the Buenos Aires province of Rauch with his daughter and nephew, when an incident left his car overturned and in a shockingly bad state.

Amazingly, all three survived the crash. Pernía - pictured above grappling with vile Blackburn striker El Hadji Diouf - is currently recovering in a Buenos Aires hospital after receiving a head trauma, a fractured spine and a punctured lung. His daughter and nephew were propelled out of the car at the point of impact, the former escaping with a fractured collarbone and the latter getting away without injury.

It’s not known how long Pernía will be recovering for, or whether he will play again.

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Morten Gamst Pedersen was guilty of one of the most laughably bad dives the Premier League has ever seen last weekend at the Emirates. But while Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce admits that his winger’s stumble was worthy of a booking, he claims players are forced to dive because of referees’ reluctance to punish foulers:

“But what about players who are dishing out fouls all the time? I would like to see them being punished, not least because it would mean those on the receiving end would not need to resort to diving.”

A huge irony about Allardyce’s stance is that the same lack of punishment allowed El-Hadji Diouf to escape with just a yellow for a horrendous lunge on Manuel Almunia in the very same game. It’s also worth noting that innocent victim Gamst Pedersen was sent off himself earlier this month against Hull, receiving a second yellow for a late challenge on Kamil Zayatte.

It is also perhaps a little odd for Allardyce to slam the level of fouling in the Premier League when Blackburn are bottom of the disciplinary table for the fifth season running, while Kevin Davies committed more fouls than any other player in each of Allardyce’s last three seasons at Bolton.

Do you spit at your mother with that mouth, El Hadji?

[WARNING: Very NSFW language]

We all know that Blackburn’s El Hadji Diouf is a lovely chap who would bend over backwards to expend his generous nature on his fellow man, but these phone pranksters appear to have caught the Senegalese star at a rather bad time. Off the Post have procured what appears to be a recording of genuine phone call, where Diouf references his large genitalia, his impressive bank balance and his desire to fornicate with the caller’s mother and one-year-old daughter.

In Diouf’s defence, it isn’t nice to be phoned up by strangers and abused, but he probably could have handled the situation a little better.

Spoiler bonus: Here’s some more light-hearted prankery in the form of “Steve Staunton’s” recent call to Peter Kenyon.

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Footballers denied permission to get their crunk on

Hip hop “stars” Lil Wayne and Akon will be holding a behemoth of a Christmas celebration in Miami, and via their relative fame, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, El-Hadji Diouf and Djibril Cisse have earned invites.

Unofrtunately, the Premiership stars’ opportunity to parade their astonishing wealth in front of other shamelessly affluent young folks has been denied by Big Phil Scolari and Roy “Buzz Killington” Keane. The “biggest hip hop bash ever thrown” is scheduled for Christmas week, and apparently there are quite a few pesky Premier League games set to scupper the festive plans.

Frankly, this professional obligation is a blessing in disguise for Anelka and Drogba, as anyone who has ever been in a confined space with El-Hadji Diouf will undoubtedly agree.