Stand back people, there’s another one…

Gary Neville is one of those players who values the result over the quality of the match. Grind it out, get the win, that’s his mentality. Hence, the Man United right back must have been over the moon to discover that after years of pointless sexual intercourse, his wife Emma has fallen pregnant.

The whisper on the street is that she’s been storing the next member of the Neville dynasty in her womb for over five months already, meaning that junior might even share a birthday with Jesus H Christ.

Well done, Nevilles. Congratulations.

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