Weeks after The FA was embroiled in a row over appearing to buy off the FIFA’s executive committee (or at least their wives) with designer handbags, in the hope of securing some votes for England’s World Cup 2018 bid, FIFA vice-prez Jack Warner has decided he doesn’t want his anymore.
The £230 Mulberry bag has been sent back, along with a tear-stained letter claiming it’s brought him nothing but bad press:
Had [my wife] or I known then that the acceptance of what we all felt was a kind gesture would have resulted in the tainting of her character and mine together with the untold embarrassment to which we are still being subjected, none of us would have attended the dinner, nor would she have accepted what we thought was a gift in honour of her birthday [We’ll assume she thought it was in honour of the all the other wives’ birthdays as well - The Spoiler]
I have faced and continue to face all kinds of indignities from all manner of persons, but when these insults touch my wife, it represents an all time low.
‘Sporting bureaucrats in possible corruption’ shock
How easily can you be bought off? Tickets to the FA Cup Final? Sexual favours? How about a handbag? In the latest installment of the triumph that is the England 2018 World Cup bid, the FA have been criticised for bestowing handbags upon all 24 members of FIFA’s executive committee just for being members of FIFA’s executive committee.
Of course, the gifts served a higher purpose, that of representing the best of British handicraft, seemingly a vital element in any successful Jules Rimet bid. And at £230 a pop, one expects the handbags really do represent the high-end of British handicraft.
But don’t worry legal eagles, it’s all perfectly kosher. An England 2018 spokesman confirmed:
“FIFA have a set of guidelines for all bidders which includes direction on what constitutes an acceptable campaign gift. All our gifts are carefully chosen so as to be within both the spirit and letter of that law.”
Yet Shadow Culture Suit Hugh Robertson was less happy:
“I think it is a massive misjudgement particularly in the middle of an economic recession and a time when the bid is looking for public funds. In addition I think it’s very clumsy in public relations as it sends out entirely the wrong messages about England’s bid.”
In other positive news for the USA 2018 bid, Brian Deane has been named as one of the 50 official bid Ambassadors. The full list is after the jump…
So if there is one space on the plane to South Africa in eight months time, what should we fill it with? One-goal beachball or two-goal Michael James Owen? You decide…
Never one to shy away from a faux pas (or its French equivalent…), French clown and part-time boss Raymond Domenech has today declared the following:
“The advantage is that everyone knows them. They are a sort of England B side. They all play in the English league so all our players know them: some of our players play alongside them, while others against them. There will be no surprises. We know what to expect and we know what we have to do.”
If ever there is a nation not to confuse with England, it’s probably the Irish, not a group who by and large, take their nationalist separatism lightly. But it does raise the question, are Ireland actually the England B team? Would anyone bar Shay Given get a game for Capello’s men? Leave us your thoughts below…
Former England boss not best-placed to provide half-time analysis
Tuning in to watch Fulham vs Hull City last night, thespoiler was relieved not to be forcefed the thoughts of Kevin Keegan, who ESPN have wheeled out for some of their bigger matches this season. After all, Keegan’s own brand of half-time chat isn’t exactly earth-shattering, as an international footballer friend of thespoiler once revealed.
Despite starting with a victory over Poland, Keegan soon ran into trouble, and the side were being held 0-0 after 45 minutes at home to Sweden, in a match they had to win to secure qualification. The players entered the dressing room in expectant silence, in search of some tactical nuance, or perhaps the famous Keegan inspiration that would guide them through the second half, and towards EURO 2000.
Instead however, they were told by the gaffer, “I don’t need to tell you what to do. You’re all top, top international footballers. Just get out there and play. You are all top players who know the game.”
Inspirational mind games perhaps. But when the side were being held in Bulgaria at half-time a few months later, and then trailing at the break to Scotland in the play-offs soon after, Keegan’s repetition of this mantra began to wear thin.
Up popped the hand of a particularly brave player, “Boss - clearly we do need to be told what to do, as we keep finding ourselves in these effing messes.”
1. England have a good first XI. Spain have a very good squad
Starting last night’s match in Bosnia without Ramos, Xavi, Torres or Villa, Spain still smashed five past a side who were unbeaten at home in Group Five. By contrast, England laboured, and were outpossessed for swathes of the match against Belarus.
Critical injuries and suspensions in previous tournaments have often put paid to England’s chances. In 2006, the Italian XI who beat France contained four changes from their opening match against Ghana. Could England survive four players missing from their first choice line-up?
2. Beckham’s MOTM award says more about Lennon et al, than it does about Steve Bruce
National outrage, complaints to OFCOM, even Fabio Capello seemed mildly amused at Steve Bruce’s selection of David Beckham as Man of the Match last night. But there can be no doubt that the right side flourished when Becks came on, and all of a sudden England looked a threat from both flanks, rather than just the left.
Bentley, Walcott, Lennon - all have tried to displace Becks since Steve McLaren tried to axe him back in 2006. Yet over three years later, only the bearded one looks certain to make England’s world cup squad next summer.
3. Maybe it does all even itself out Brian
Cut to any professionally dull football pundit in the aftermath of a shocking refereeing decision or late equaliser, and they will, having mulled it over for a little while, cerebrally conclude that, “at the end of the day, it all evens itself out.” And events in Washington last night, appear for once to vindicate this viewpoint.
Having scored an added time equaliser during their CONCACAF Gold Cup semi-final against Mexico this summer, the ‘Ricans’ were undone by Jonathan Bornstein’s 95th minute header for the United States last night, which sent Honduras to South Africa, and Costa Rica to Uruguay.
Or U R Gay as Homer Simpson famously misread it.
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