Blues boss can only get riled up in his mother tongue

Thanks to the expert tuition he received at a Nunnery in Holland over the summer, Carlo Ancelotti’s grasp of English is improving at a tremendous rate (his oral skills have already eclipsed those of, say, Carlos Tevez, who after three years on these shores rarely speaks anything but Spanish).

While the Chelsea manager is confident enough to drop cheeky jokes in English, his command of the language isn’t sufficient to give his players a rollicking. Hence, his assistant Ray Wilkins suggested that he let rip in Italian, operating under the vague hope that JT, Lampsie and co would somehow take his criticisms on board:

“Only one time have they upset me, in a friendly against Reading. We were losing 2-0 at half-time and I wanted to be angry, but I didn’t have the words to convey that emotion. Ray said I should use Italian and then they can see by the look on my face that I am upset. When I am angry, I have to speak in Italian.

Of course, shouting at players in barely decipherable language is not a new concept in English football - Alex Ferguson has been doing it for over twenty years.

[The Telegraph]

Sixteen confused players shipped off to language school

As Paul Whitehouse eloquently demonstrated, it can be difficult to communicate in a dressing room where the majority of players don’t speak English as a first language. Accordingly, sixteen of Portsmouth’s 28-man squad will be sent back to school to learn how to speak proper like:

The crash courses concentrate on how to speak ‘Football English’, learning basic expressions of the game.

Polyglot Solutions, a language school based in Southsea, Hants, has been working with Pompey to ensure players can communicate with each other amid the pressure of a match.

Multi-lingual entrepreneur Dr Jay Kettle-Williams is in charge of the project, which aims to bring players from zero knowledge to a good grasp of football English in just eleven hours.

It will also concentrate on helping Nadir Belhadj and co understand Harry’s cockney vernacular: when he screams “push up into the apples and pairs” [opponent’s half] or “play the striker apples and pears” [offside], they should know exactly what he is talking about.

When the players are all speaking fluent ‘Arry, incidents like the one in the video above should be avoided.

[Daily Mail]

Winger snubs Arsenal’s anti-English policy via bespoke footwear

A thoroughly trustworthy friend of The Spoiler has sent us a tale concerning David Bentley’s unorthodox departure from Arsenal:

When Bentley was at Arsenal, he kept putting in transfer requests which were rejected. He went on loan at Norwich, came back, and the same thing happened again.

By the summer of 2005, he was completely fed up, so had some special boots made. On one was written “English and proud,” and the other, “So I’m never picked.” The next morning at training, he called Arsene Wenger over and showed him.

The next day he was moved on to Blackburn.

England gaffer learns the lingo, but doesn’t tell Ray Clemence to stop dancing

At his inaugural England press conference way back in December, Fabio Capello nonchalantly stated that he would learn English fluently in just one month - bearing in mind a great deal of young people come out of the British educational system with little more grasp of the language than a Polish cleaner, this is quite a ballsy claim.

The ‘one month’ boasting, however, turned out to be a worrying display of over-confidence (or perhaps a cruel trick from his interpreter), as Don Fabio was still jabbering away in Italian at the France friendly last month.

But things are looking up for USA friendly in May, as Mr Capello

Will he be able to master the English language?

At his official showcasing at FA headquarters, Fabio Capello boasted (through a translator) that he will be able to speak English after just one month of