Former Big Brother star may have brought epidemic to Teeside

Faces nightclub noticed a dramatic decrease in business recently, as two of its most loyal patrons - WAGs Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton - were enjoying a luxury holiday in Mexico.

While the trip was undoubtedly intended to alleviate the stresses of occasionally taking their clothes off in Nuts, the Big Brother beauties may have come home with a little more than a tan: The Daily Star claim the pair are being checked out by doctors to make sure they haven’t caught the deadly piggy flu.

Chanelle is slowly working her way through the Middlesbrough team, and is currently dating midfielder Matthew Bates. If she is found to be carrying the flu, it is very likely Bates will have it, and therefore the entire Boro squad would have to be checked out.

Fortunately for Tottenham, Chantelle Houghton no longer entertaining Jermain Defoe.

Carlos Vela was feared to be carrying deadly Mexican piggy virus

The swine flu epidemic is a big deal: hundreds of people have lost their lives, the government are advising against travel to Mexico and the USA, and the tabloid press have (temporarily) stopped putting pictures of Susan Boyle on their front pages to report on it.

Concerned that the virus could spread to their squad, Arsenal told striker Carlos Vela to stay home from training on Monday, as he was visited by friends from Mexico last week. Caught in a state-the-obvious kind of mood, Arsene Wenger said:

“It looks to be a massive problem in Mexico so we asked him to stay away.”

After being checked over the by the club doctor, and being made to promise he would wash his hands and wouldn’t sneeze in anyone’s face, Vela was given the all-clear to return to action, and will feature in the squad to face Manchester Utd tonight.