Manager bites off more than he can chew…

Yes, the deal isn’t quite done yet, but Man United always get their man - Tevez, Hargreaves, Carrick, Rooney, Ferdinand, Kleberson… to name just six. In fact, Berbatov eventually packing up his smokes and venturing up north has never really been in doubt, and in a chilling moment of honesty, Sir Alex even admitted to watching the Bulgarian from afar for the last seven long years. This is a love affair that was always going to happen. It’s their destiny.

Yet, patient or not, Ferguson is making a big mistake. Berbatov is a brilliant player, that’s never been in doubt, but how could the red-nosed Scot possibly squeeze him into the first team without ruffling feathers and obliterating egos? Has greed finally got the better of him?

Frugal supporters choose least efficient mode of transport possible

When facing community service for the Kung Fu assault of a cocky Crystal Palace fan, Manchester Utd legend Eric Cantona philosophically told the press: “when the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea”.

Taking inspiration from the zany Frenchman’s words, a group of fans from down the road at Eastlands have decided to hire a fishing trawler to reach the Faroe Islands for tomorrow’s crunch UEFA Cup tie with EB/Streymur:

The boat - which cost the fans £285 each - left the UK yesterday and will get to Torshavn tomorrow - just in time to see City and their new manager Mark Hughes take on EB/Streymur.

Organiser Leighton Gobbett, 27, said: “This should be the funniest trip ever to a football match.”

Another fan said: “We must be the first supporters to use a fishing trawler. Let’s hope City stick a few in the net.”

Twelve fans will be travelling for three days each way, covering a distance which is roughly the equivalent of London to Munich, just to take in the 90 minute match.

Of course, if they had worked the six travelling days instead, they probably could have afforded something a little more comfortable…

Spoiler bonus: Two weeks ago, we showed you EB/Streymur’s picturesque 1,000 capacity stadium.

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The Spoiler presents the best of the angry, drunk and depressed

The main issue that footballers have is that once away from the pitch, what is there to do? God forbid they have to pick up a book and read! The lucky ones play golf and hang out with Gary Neville, while the rest of them stare blank-eyed into the depths of their tortured souls.

How about this team for a freaky dressing room!

GK Mark Bosnich
There was a time when the Australian looked set to become the greatest goalkeeper the world had ever seen, but then he set eyes of silly Sophie Anderton, and went about shoveling cocaine up his nose instead of training. He then became a little bit weird.

DL Ben Thatcher
A horrible man, Thatcher will be remembered mainly for his revolting use of his elbows - most notably on Pedro Mendes of Portsmouth, who took such a wallop that he had a seizure. Serious violence issues, he makes the line-up in front of Ashley Cole, who isn’t so much troubled as just a total bastard.

DC Tony Adams
Forget the straight-faced gentlemanly MOTD2 demeanor, there was a time when Adams would hurl back the beers and set off fire extinguishers in Pizza Hut - all because he was drunk, the idiot. Then there was the time he smashed a Ford Sierra into a wall, shortly before going to prison. Oops (hic!).

DC Paul McGrath
McGrath had the look of a man who would silently strangle people in alleyways, but as defenders go, he was brilliant. Problem was, he was so addicted to drink that he once thought it wise to wolf down some lighter fluid (apparently). Euch.