Former England boss not best-placed to provide half-time analysis

Tuning in to watch Fulham vs Hull City last night, thespoiler was relieved not to be forcefed the thoughts of Kevin Keegan, who ESPN have wheeled out for some of their bigger matches this season. After all, Keegan’s own brand of half-time chat isn’t exactly earth-shattering, as an international footballer friend of thespoiler once revealed.

Despite starting with a victory over Poland, Keegan soon ran into trouble, and the side were being held 0-0 after 45 minutes at home to Sweden, in a match they had to win to secure qualification. The players entered the dressing room in expectant silence, in search of some tactical nuance, or perhaps the famous Keegan inspiration that would guide them through the second half, and towards EURO 2000.

Instead however, they were told by the gaffer, “I don’t need to tell you what to do. You’re all top, top international footballers. Just get out there and play. You are all top players who know the game.”

Inspirational mind games perhaps. But when the side were being held in Bulgaria at half-time a few months later, and then trailing at the break to Scotland in the play-offs soon after, Keegan’s repetition of this mantra began to wear thin.

Up popped the hand of a particularly brave player, “Boss - clearly we do need to be told what to do, as we keep finding ourselves in these effing messes.”

For those who don’t care much for Panorama

If tonight’s Panorama, promising a gritty investigation into life on a Bristol estate, doesn’t appeal, some even grittier action is available on ESPN this evening. Hull did the double over Fulham last season, so Hodgson’s men will be hoping to take a tentative step on the recovery road back from such shame, by dealing with the Tigers tonight.

Sky Sports 1 at 7:30 is the place to be if you like your Premier League nostalgia, as Leeds host Norwich. Whilst for those curious to see how the younger members of Chelsea squad can defend the dead ball, Chelsea TV at 7 is the place to watch Chelsea Reserves vs West Ham reserves.

England the hors d’oeuvre ahead of an Argentine main course

Starting at 5pm, you can take your televisual pick from five meaningless World Cup qualifiers, before the real action starts at a slightly-inconvenient-if-you-work time of 11.

Germany (already through) vs Finland (already out) help ESPN stave off the test card from 5pm, before channel hoppers enter heaven at around 7. Sky Sports 2 at 6:30 is the place to be to watch Shay Given clap the crowd who in turn will be clapping him, as he wins his 100th cap against Montenegro. Meanwhile Slovenia’s inevitable win in San Marino, makes Czech Republic vs Northern Ireland (7:20 BBC red button) another dead rubber.

Liverpool TV is the place to watch the top two in Group 5. Turn on at 6:45 for Bosnia-Herzegovina vs Spain, a match Rafa doesn’t want any of his stars to play in, although presumably LFCTV advertising execs take an opposing view.

Or walk the way of ITV1 at 7:30 to watch Gabriel Agbonlahor, Ben Foster, Michael Carrick and assorted others once more prove they aren’t quite up to international football. But all this is mere flotsam and jetsam compared to the second oldest derby in international football. Separated by the widest river in the world, tonight’s result could ensure many more miles will be separating the players of Uruguay and Argentina next June. Maradona’s men need a draw to qualify, but should they lose, and Ecuador win in Chile, the World Cup 2010 will take place without the world’s best player. Sky Sports 1 at 11 for the game of the season thus far.

UPDATE The Chile vs Ecuador match bizarrely (and slightly unfairly) kicks off an hour earlier, so if the away side win that game, the second half in Montevideo really will be something.

Any predictions? Let us know below…

The European Commission’s decision to deny Sky Sports the right to broadcast every televised game will again hit fans in the wallet

The Spoiler hoped that the one good thing that could potentially stem from Setanta’s collapse would be Premier League football being made cheaper to watch - obviously we weren’t too optimistic but we kept our fingers crossed.

However, it has today been confirmed that ESPN’s new UK channel will launch on August 3 at a premium of £9 a month to Sky Sports customers and £12 to those who have Sky without the sports packages.

Whereas with Setanta, you were also getting FA Cup, Blue Square Premier, Bundesliga and international games thrown in for your money, ESPN’s 46

Irish TV network is on the brink of collapse

Since they lost half of their Premier League live rights for the 2010-2011 season, Setanta Sports have been teetering closer and closer towards administration.

The Ireland-based TV network have been unable to pay a £3m bill to the Scottish Premier League, which doesn’t put them in a particularly good position to pay the impending £40m bill coming from the English Premier League. They must now rely on hefty investment from third parties or a takeover bid to stop them collapsing.

If Setanta were to become insolvent, a fire sale of all their TV rights would probably occur, meaning their grossly overvalued contracts (including the £425m one for England and FA Cup games) could fall into the hands of rivals for knock-down prices.

A surprise lifeline may actually come from big-dog rivals Sky, who have been asked to provide a £50m interest free loan in exchange for Setanta becoming part of the Sky Sports package.It may sound like a bizarre request, but it is actually in Sky’s interest to keep their weak competitor afloat, rather than letting a huge shark like ESPN into the tank. It is The Spoiler’s understanding that BSkyB will do just about anything

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Folks in the news room do not wear trousers

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