That’s neither the time nor the place for a testicular check-up
Before their impromptu exit from Euro 96, Scotland defeated Switzerland 1-0. Perhaps if Colin Calderwood and co had spent less time groping the opposition, they would have made it to the knockout stage.
In 1996 the whole of the country was gripped by a massive depression thanks to Gareth Southgate and his stupid foot. Why did he have to miss that penalty? Why? It could have been our year. Hence, pretty much everyone forgot that over in Atlanta, there was a whole Olympic Games thing happening - the star of the show being a man called Michael Johnson. A tremendous runner, he bagged gold medals in the 200 and 400 metres that year, all the while running in the style of a baddie from a Charlie Chaplin film. Hilarious - nice one, Michael.
The voice of BBC football drops the ‘C-bomb’ during Euro 96
Motty may have enjoyed a relatively bluff-free Euro 2008, but his unfortunate use of Stefan Kuntz’s surname during Euro 96 will easily go down as his greatest international commentary moment.
Whoa, that costume is not appropriate for the beach!
If you were watching 2003 Steven Seagal/Ja Rule classic Half Past Dead very closely, you may have seen today’s WAG Yasmina Filali flaunting her wares. The actress and model is popular in her native Germany, where she gained notoriety playing a stripper in TV series Die Rote Meile (‘The Red Mile’). She found her way into several other TV shows, helped by SAT.1 Chief Exec boyfriend Fred Kogel, but eventually left her well-connected partner to marry ex-Sunderland and Euro 96 winning defender Thomas Helmer.
Lovers of utility knives, banking and duty free Toblerone should prepare for disappointment tonight
Only one of the sides playing tonight will be taking part in the European Championships, but here are a few reminders of happier days in Anglo-Swiss history.