English clubs get the bitter taste of defeat in Europe…

Roma 2/ Fulham 1
Fulham lead the game for 50 mins after being put 1-0 up through a Diomansy Kamara penalty. John Arne Riise arrowed in a shot (deflected off of his younger brother, Bjorn Helge) to restore parity before Stefano Okaka Chuka completed the reversal 15 minutes from time. Fulham need to win both their remaining games (CSKA Sofia at home, FC Basel away) to stand a chance of getting through the knockout rounds.

Everton 0/ Benfica 2

The Toffees were once again well and truly served by Benfica, two weeks after their 5-0 humping in Portugal. Former massively-disappointing-Argentine Javier Saviola and the free scoring Oscar Cardozo racked up a goal a piece, leaving Everton second in Group I, three points behind the leaders. A win against AEK Athens next month will see Moyes’ men through comfortably.

Who do we turn to in our hour of need? Steve McClaren!

It’s been a horrible few days. Firstly, Man United flopped when all the long shots in our Champions League accumulator delivered and then Lyon once again mugged Liverpool in injury time yesterday.

When your luck is down, you probably don’t want to be relying on a Goodison Park goalfest, Spanish strugglers finding form and Steve McClaren. The Spoiler loves a long shot though…

Over 2.5 goals in Everton/Benfica
Six of Everton’s last seven European games have produced three goals or more. Benfica are the most prolific team in Portugal by miles and thumped five

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Rio Ferdinand to Tottenham
On Tuesday, only 42% of thespoiler readers disagreed with the sentiment that Rio was finished. For now, Sir Alex is in that minority, although if Ferdinand were to have another couple of iffy matches,he may quickly dust off his ruthless side and bring in Jonny Evans. Needing to play first-team football ahead of the Coupe du Monde, could Rio return to Uncle Harry, and join the White Hart Lane circus?

Thespoiler truth-ometer: Given Daniel Levy’s reluctance on deadline day to give Harry any cash to sign David James, he surely wouldn’t shell out the huge fee that signing Rio would demand. Ferdinand also seems to be one of those players who love playing for Manchester United. The step down may not appeal to his ego, or the Rio brand.

Jack Rodwell to Manchester United
Despite only making 27 appearances for Everton, Rodwell has been hailed by many pundits as the, ‘next Rio Ferdinand.’ Which is handy for Sir Alex given the form of the old one.

Thespoiler truth-ometer: Although United did sign Rooney from Everton as a youngster, he had played almost three times the matches of Rodwell. Plus, with his development faring so well at Goodison, why go to United?

Federico Macheda to Middlesbrough
Since that goal, Macheda has somewhat withdrawn from the scene, with Sir Alex preferring to go with immobility in the form of Berbatov and insecurity in the form of Michael Owen. Is a loan move to Middlesbrough what Macheda needs to get back up and running?

Thespoiler truth-ometer: Macheda was one of the names on Gordon Strachan’s leaked list earlier in the week, and one would expect him to score goals in the Championship. With Jeremie Aliadiere out injured, Boro’s need for a centre-forward has become even more pressing, but the relationship between Strachan and Fergie has never been the best, with wee Gordon even accusing Manchester United of deliberately losing a match at home to Derby in 2001, to help put his Coventry side down. Favours may not be forthcoming.

The alternatives to watching a racist tonight

Heroin users regularly tell thespoiler, that following the intense euphoric rush as the drug first kicks in, comes a withdrawal period. Anxiety, depression, nausea and excessive yawning all follow in the next 24 hours. It’s easy to empathise on weeks like this.

The Champions League shows us a bit of leg on the Tuesday, even more on the Wednesday, but by Thursday, as the Europa League theme strikes up, the aforementioned symptoms are all too familiar.

At 6pm, two struggling sides meet on ITV4, as Lazio host Villareal, currently rock bottom of la Liga. At the same time on ESPN, Everton can continue their march towards the knock-out stages by taking care of former European giants Benfica.

At 8pm, three more matches to ignore in the competition that contains more groups than Simon Cowell’s record label. Martin Jol’s Ajax host Dinamo Zagreb, captained by former Liverpool scapegoat Igor Biscan. ITV4 are showing Celtic’s defeat at home to Hamburg whilst the match of the night is at the Cottage, where Roma come calling on Ch5. Feel free to insert your own Stan Collymore - Cottage related joke. Thespoiler never goes for the easy laugh.

For a better standard of football this evening, MUTV at 7 is the place to watch Manchester United Reserves tackle Blackburn’s second string

Because ten would be one too many

It’s not just Chelsea who can’t defend crosses:
Lost amidst the great excitement of Villa’s two goals on Saturday, was the fact that Arsenal conceded a pathetic goal from a cross, and Manchester United seemed puzzled every time the ball arrived in the air too. Add to this Liverpool conceding 75% of their goals from set pieces, and it is clear that when the punditocracy talk of big four vulnerability, the aerial ball is where they are at their most brittle.
The era of Carragher, Rio and Terry being a class above is clearly coming to an end, and whilst managers scuttle around for their replacements, the lesser teams are taking advantage.

The best-paid referees in the world don’t know the rules:
Last week their fitness was called into question; this week their knowledge of the rules. There are only 17 laws in football, and the small booklet weighs in at less than 50 pages, so one would hope a professional referee could manage to skim through it in their spare time. But of the four officials on call at the S of L on Saturday, none of them knew that Bent’s goal should not have stood.

Arsenal have made the best start in Premier League history:
27 goals in their first eight matches is more than any other side has managed since 1992. Crazily, most people still don’t consider them genuine title contenders.

Everton’s season is all about the Europa League:
In the past two seasons, Everton’s reliability against the lesser sides was a major factor in their successive top five finishes, particularly when contrasted to their struggles against the four above. With the Man City millions ripping Lescott off him, perhaps Moyes realised that in the league, Everton had gone as far as they realistically could. By placing all his eggs in the basket marked Europa League, silverware could be on the horizon.

Manchester City aren’t ready for the title yet:
In their two most recent away fixtures, City have equalised early in the second half, only to sit back and settle for the draw. It’s hard to imagine United or Arsenal at their pomp, content to draw at either Villa Park or the DW. Mark Hughes’ biggest challenge is to change the City mindset to that of a truly big club.

England’s number one isn’t even United’s number two:
Having declared earlier in the season, “I have said it before and I will say it again, there is no question in my mind that he will be England’s goalkeeper. There is nobody better. I am absolutely convinced of that,” Sir Alex has since decided Tomasz Kuszczak is better to name but one.
It is no exaggeration to say it is possible Foster will never again play for United. Fergie has shown in the past how ruthless he can be with goalkeepers - just ask Massimo Taibi.

The Welsh get ignored:
Such is the media’s obsession with the English untouchables of Lampard, Gerrard, Rooney etc, that their attention can only be elicited away by a glamorous foreigner, a Drogba, Torres or Fabregas. But if you’re Welsh or Scottish, you might as well not exist to the majority of football writers.
Darren Fletcher has been criminally under-rated for many years, as has the brilliant Craig Bellamy. James Collins has been a revelation since he joined Aston Villa, whilst West Ham’s defence has suffered without him carrying England star Matt Upson. Yet his MOTM performance on Saturday is treated as a one-off, as if he has suddenly appeared from nowhere.

Inter are a real threat this season:
Their dismantling of Genoa on Saturday night showed that when it comes to pace and power, Inter can now compete with Premier League sides, unlike previous years.

The Championship is really poor:
Three awful teams from last year are in the top four, and Middlesbrough even managed to lose at home to Watford this weekend. Message from Scudamore- “please stop sending us up such dross!”

What did you learn from the weekend - tell us below…

Its not just Manchester United who score late, by Danny Harris

Republic of Ireland were robbed of a credible draw at the weekend, after scoring late only to see their opponents Italy equalise with stunning impertinence.

After the jump, we choose our six favourite similarly chaotic upside-down closing stages:

Also appearing on a computer near you…

We can’t help but think a Premier League player would have made a bigger deal of being kicked in the head
[Dirty Tackle]

Cristiano Ronaldo is set to help Portugal struggle to qualify for the World Cup this weekend
[Goal.com]

Everton’s Jose Baxter arrested on suspicion of dealing cannabis
[Off The Post]

Abbey Clancy and Cheryl Cole rock the red carpet
[Kickette]

Tomas Rosicky could be injured for someone else next season
[Caught Offside]

Follow us on Twitter
[Twitter]

Yet more rumours that Cesc Fabregas’ days in north London are coming to an end
[Daily Mail]

The players who didn’t earn their loyalty bonuses

As anyone who has ever divorced will testify, sometimes it is necessary to call time on a big commitment. Footballers who sign big money contracts are no strangers to this maxim, but some jump ship a little earlier than expected. With this in mind, Spoiler correspondent Ben Baker has compiled a top ten list of the shortest spells in football club history. And guess who tops the list…

Sol Campbell
After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance at Meadow Lane and a quick team photo, the man whom Spurs fans lovingly refer to as ‘Judas’ picked up his boots and walked out on his £40,000-a-week contract. If he manages to stay fit and win his war with his own metabolism, perhaps a fleeting appearance in the MLS lies ahead for football’s least decisive man..

Ali Dia
A favourite story among football fans who are less than supportive of Graeme Souness (and let’s be honest, there are a fair few): after allegedly receiving a call from former World Footballer of the Year George Weah ‘bigging up’ his ‘cousin’, Souness signed him up without reservation. He even had the audacity to replace Sir Tiss with him. Dia was so dreadful that he was hauled off, lasting about 20 minutes. Oh well, Southampton’s loss was Gateshead’s gain…kind of.

Dietmar Hamann
After it appeared that Hamann was surplus to