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Fabio Cannavaro inspires the Five Worst Doping Excuses list
[Off The Post]

Sulley Muntari dismisses rumours of a Tottenham switch
[Goal.com]

As always, Sergio Ramos looks ri-god-damn-diculous
[Kickette]

Cheryl Cole is hot, confusing
[Dirty Tackle]

West Ham target Luca Toni wants a move to Napoli
[Daily Mail]

Bye bye Peter Taylor
[LMA]

Carlo Ancelotti backs his former employer Milan to improve, probably with a huge grin on his face
[The Mirror]

Sorcerer is currently making anti-CRon spell in his ‘laboratory’

The ever-mental Spanish sports papers have excelled themselves once more, with news reaching us from El Mundo that Real Madrid is under siege by an anonymous voodoo priest.

A letter has been received by the club from a man who claims to have cast a spell that would leave the Portugese man-o’-sex crocked in a freak accident, after being contracted to do so by a mysterious frenemy (Sir Alex? Ruud? Nereida Gallardo?):

I’m not antimadridista. I have nothing against this great club. I am a professional and someone has paid very well for me using my powers. I have been hired to make Cristiano Ronaldo suffer a serious injury.

The other half of a World Cup-winning captain

Unlike the current FIFA World Player of the Year, 2006 winner Fabio Cannavaro is a one-woman-kinda-guy. The 35-year-old defender - who will return to Juventus next season - met wife Daniela at a party in 1990, when he was just sixteen.

Yes, some crazy person had enough free time to make this

Admittedly, Sister Act/ footballer mash-ups are exactly common, but this is by far the best example we’ve seen. Stick with it until (2.40) for an angelic Cristiano Ronaldo solo.

[Dirty Tackle]

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Right: Some great Tottenham Sporno spotted by Spoiler reader Ryan on our new favourite website

Video: Romanian coach happy slaps his players
[Dirty Tackle]

Arsenal and Liverpool track Dutch striker Mounir El Hamdaoui
[The Sun]

WAG Imogen Thomas and Danny Simpson hit the town
[Kickette]

Fabio Cannavaro tells us why he shunned Manchester City
[Tribal Football]

Brazilian could inherit the hallowed squad number

While the British press are preoccupied with the Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid transfer saga, our Spanish friends seem to believe Los Blancos have eyes for only one man: Kaka.

According to the front page of Marca, the Brazilian has already been promised the number five shirt by likely Madrid president Florentino Perez. The squad number should be available, as Fabio Cannavaro is likely to depart in the summer.

Before Cannavaro, Madrid’s number five was worn by Zinedine Zidane. Therefore, if Kaka arrives in the summer, he will be the third consecutive Ballon D’or and FIFA World Player of the Year winner to wear the number.

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Finally, some video of Jose Mourinho’s Italian lapdance

Are Chelsea planning a double swoop for Ancelotti and Kaka?
[Tribal Football]

Quickly, follow us on Twitter before it goes out of fashion!
[Twitter]

Fabio Cannavaro loves him some Disney
[Kickette]

If Robinho wants to be the best player in the world, he should stop being so bloody lazy
[Sky Sports]

638-year-old Milan captain isn’t looking forward to retiring
[Goal.com]

Tottenham compete with Inter for Gambian youngster Ebrima Bojang
[Mirror]

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

The world of football news is a relatively dull place during international week, but thankfully, the newspapers are still managing to churn out the good stuff. Here are the latestspeculations that have caught our attention:

Fabio Cannavaro to Manchester City
The World Cup winning centre-back has revealed that he is ready to quit Real Madrid, so naturally the Italian has been linked with a move to Manchester City by The Daily Mirror.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: There’s not much left for the former FIFA World Player of the Year to achieve, so Manchester City’s lack of prospective silverware probably wouldn’t bother the 35-year-old. However, Cannavaro has previously expressed an interest in returning to Napoli to finish his career.

Ashley Young and Roque Santa Cruz to Tottenham
During the last transfer window, only one club could compete with Manchester City on the erroneous transfer rumour front, and now Tottenham are being re-linked with Ashley Young and Roque Santa Cruz. Apparently, ‘Arry is willing to part with most of his squad players including Roman Pavlyuchenko, Jermaine Jenas, David Bentley and Darren Bent in order to generate cash for new signings.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Villa will do everything to keep Young on their books, and